Life as a Christian Woman

I don’t share stories very often of my son. We have some great parenting bloggers here on 451 Press, including Jean at Parenting and Religion. She has seven kids, and therefor a lot more experience than I do! However, this incident last night made me stop and think about when we have to make a choice between Christian virtues and building character in our kids, which is most important?

By the Lord’s grace, my 10-year-old son is a very well-behaved child. He rarely gets in trouble, so although we have long had a progressive discipline plan in place, I use it infrequently. It begins with a night of no television and electronics. Due to a minor infraction, but one he had already received two warnings against, I was forced to visit the discipline plan yesterday evening. Since he couldn’t watch television or play video games, he was in the kitchen amusing himself with a ball. An evening thunderstorm rolled in with frequent lightning and loud rumbling bursts. My son is unaffected by weather. However, my 15-pound tomcat turns into a puling puddle of terror!

At the first sign of the wind picking up, Smokey begins to look anxiously out the window. Within seconds after the first rumble, he has dropped to his belly and low-crawled to the back of the house, usually to my son’s room. His normal routine began this way last night and we figured it would be an hour or so before we saw Smokey again. But in a few minutes, he came crawling back, belly dragging the ground, ears laid back, and eyes wide as saucers. This reappearance in the midst of the chaos was highly unusual, but in a minute he was once more headed down the hallway. After five minutes or so, he repeated the act again. I was in the kitchen still cooking and had a good view of his horror-filled stalk through the house. Again, he crawled into the kitchen, stayed for a minute, then disappeared for the third time.

It suddenly dawned on me. Usually, my son would be in his room and Smokey would seek shelter in there with him. But because of the punishment, the boy who offers comfort was otherwise occupied. The terrified cat refused to stay in the front of the house, and my son would not stay in his room without a TV or video game to play. I was suddenly faced with a choice.

The virtue of self-discipline is a vital one in a young man’s life. It is a basic Biblical principle that appears in many verses throughout the Old and New Testaments. But another Christian virtue is love, one that encompasses compassion, caring, and helping others. We apply this rule to people, but we also must apply it to animals. By bringing Smokey into our home as a beloved pet, we took responsibility for his life, safety, security, and emotional well-being. My son’s punishment for lack of self-discipline was causing pain for this animal who depends on us for everything. I was forced to make a choice.

I told my son to go in his room and turn on his TV so Smokey would stay in there and calm down. I chose to believe Jesus, that “the greatest of these is love.” My son looked at me wonderingly for a moment, then went in his room, turned on his favorite cartoon, and sat on the floor. I picked up our huge, heavy, scaredy cat and carried him to the room. He didn’t come out again. When I went to check on him in a few moments, he was curled up inches from my son. His eyes were still wide, and his ears were still trying to tap into the SETI array, but he was staying put and calming down.

So, did my son miss the discipline lesson? I don’t think he did. When the weather had calmed down and the terrified cat dropped off to sleep, he turned off his television, found a book, and asked if he could lie on my bed to read. He recognized that it was a special situation. He understood that Smokey’s well-being had taken precedence over his punishment. And he knew that, when the special situation was resolved, the other Christian virtue lesson was an important one, too.

Just maybe, God’s awesome creation of the earth and its inner workings, such as the weather, provided me an opportunity to teach two vital character builders at once: God calls us to be self-disciplined and always choose what is right, and what is right is ALWAYS love.

christian virtue, character builders, pets, cats, christian parenting, faith

For an update on Juanita Bynum, see the post “Celebrate Christmas with Juanita Bynum.“

Senior Pastor Brian S. Lewis of All Nations Church in Los Angeles rebuked Juanita Bynum in a sermon on national television.

“Juanita Bynum, you don’t like what you went through? You don’t like being stomped in the groin? You don’t like being beat by a man, why don’t you just sow a seed?” he asked. “You know why God is judging you because you can’t sow a seed to get out of your problems”

Watch the sermon:

God does not cause your husband to attempt to kill you! What do you think?

Source: EURweb.com

Juanita Bynum, All Nations Church

Today is the last day to enter the comment contest to win Beth Moore’s book Breaking Free: Making Liberty in Christ a Reality in Life. For guidelines and more about the contest, see the original post. In conjunction with this contest, we are adding Beth Moore to our list of Successful Christian Women.

Ms. Moore was born in 1957 in Wisconsin and raised in Arkansas. She married her husband Keith in 1978 and together they have two daughters. Her website states she felt the call of God at the age of 18. Her early years of serving the Lord consisted of speaking at luncheons and retreats and teaching Christian aerobics classes. She also worked at Mother’s Day Out.

Ms. Moore founded Living Proof Ministries in 1994. She is a member of Houston’s First Baptist Church where she continues to teach a Tuesday night interdenominational ladies Bible study. She has become famous for animated teaching style and brings to life stories and characters with drama, humor, poetry, and passion.

She is regular guest on LIFE Today with James Robinson, travels the country speaking at conferences and conventions, and produces Bible studies including the series Breaking Free. Thanks to missionaries and travelers carrying her books and message to other countries, there are Beth Moore Bible Study groups popping up all over the world. In 2004, she began a radio ministry called Living Proof with Beth Moore.

Living Proof Ministries is serving God’s people around the world. For updates, pictures and slideshows, visit the blog. You can find a complete list of her products at the online store.

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Thank you, April, for allowing me to join you on your blog. I’m hoping we can have lots of input from your readers, and that during the discussion, someone will find words of encouragement that will help them navigate their own situation or become a source of real inspiration and support to someone else.

The issue of domestic violence among Christians is an emotionally charged subject, fraught with conflicting convictions and opinions. My stance begins and ends with the conviction that the Bible teaches that life should be chosen over any possibility, however remotely, of being theologically incorrect.

I believe in God. I have chosen to place my faith and eternal destiny in the hands of his risen son, Jesus Christ. My relationship with my Savior is the most important relationship in my life. In my own life and practice, I hold the Word of God in the highest esteem. Without qualification, I believe the Bible is God breathed. And I believe every word it says.

But I also recognize that my understanding and interpretations of certain biblical passages concerning roles between husbands and wives are simply theology.

So are everyone else’s, as the Bible does not speak as plainly on the subject as some are convinced it does, but rather invites thoughtful study and gives plenty of latitude for husbands and wives to stay within biblical bounds concerning their marriage relationship without being forced into the more traditional roles if that is not what they both choose to do.

If any of us are ever called upon to choose between a woman’s life and well being over our own, possibly faulty, theology concerning sex-roles within marriage, then we had better choose the life.

Life, is always more important than theology.

Without fail, in every interview I grant, I am asked about the doctrine of submission and how I feel it may relate to abuse and domestic violence within Christian marriages. The subject is a veritable powder keg. Anyone who broaches the subject with an untraditional view is practically begging for an explosion, but I will volunteer to strike the match today.

I see wifely submission as the Holy Grail of many evangelical leaders and husbands. Wives and husbands are frequently assured, by their spiritual leaders, that if the wife will submit properly to her husband, then most problems within the marriage will magically disappear.

This solution is like searching for the Holy Grail. The Grail cannot be found. Even if a wife may adopt, or is coerced through scripture abuse into adopting a subordinate role in the relationship to that of her husband’s, the wife can never submit enough.

This approach to dealing with marital discord can and does lead to violence and even death when paired with a man who has anger issues and violent tendencies. Studies have shown that submissive behavior in battered wives, does not deflect violence at all, but rather seems to exacerbate it.

I have personally spoken with pastors who espouse such a strict view of wifely submission, they blame wives for their husband’s violent behavior. In varying degrees, this is not an uncommon attitude among evangelical pastors. In some congregations, wives are subjected to church discipline when they begin to take responsibility for their own safety and well-being.

I received an email from a woman who recently divorced (only a few years ago). She shared that although her church leaders were aware that she was being battered, no church discipline was undertaken on the part of her church leadership against her violent husband. However, she was immediately placed under church discipline when she finally divorced him for beating her.

I was fortunate to have a supportive pastor when I divorced my violent husband. But during the years prior to that time, I found there was no escaping what I call the “church sanctioned oppression” most abused, church-going, Christian wives are usually required to endure–either overtly through the situation being ignored as they are instructed to stay and submit to the abuse, or covertly by being forced to deal with poorly concealed negative attitudes towards her for being married to an abusive man to begin with.

Along with multitudes of other abused wives, Christian or otherwise, I found myself withdrawing into silence and even beginning to shy away from developing new relationships due to the contempt and shame I experienced whenever someone rejected my friendship because of the abuse or became disgusted with me for not leaving the marriage.

The good news is, that with God, all things are possible.

When it became apparent that my husband was not going to seek help or change, wisdom entered into my heart and knowledge became pleasant to my soul, and God was more than able, at that time, to deliver me from the relationship–not only physically but emotionally as well.

We are challenged in the Bible to take responsibility for our own safety and eventual deliverance from the oppression of violence and abuse. At the same time, I know that we cannot do it ourselves, or, as a formerly battered friend so aptly phrased it, we would have gotten out the first time we were battered.

This opening statement leaves a great deal unsaid and by no means even comes close to dealing with the subject in depth. But it is my hope that we can round out the discussion during our time of questions and comments today.

April, thanks again for allowing me to visit your blog.

~~jocelyn andersen

Available now at www.Amazon.com or a bookstore near you
Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic Violence
A Book That Could Save Lives
http://WomanSubmit.net

I am taking a bit of a break today to catch up on other responsibilities. My son was sick with bronchitis and a throat infection all last week, so taking care of him and going to the doctor has put me behind a bit. Don’t forget about the upcoming events later this week.

Tuesday, August 28 - Author Jocelyn Anderson will join us tomorrow morning to discuss her book “Woman Submit! Christians and Domestic Violence.”

Wednesday, August 29 - Last day to leave your comments and win the Beth Moore book “Breaking Free.” Learn more…

Also last week, I took over the 451 Press site Her Daily News. This is women’s news site where I will be focusing on the views, news, and issues of women. Hop over there and check it out. Click on the category “Reader’s Interests” and take a brief poll on the topics that most interest you and you want to see more of.

Have a blessed Monday!

In an earlier post, I asked for prayers for baby Andrew. Doctors were forced to deliver him by C-section at just 24 weeks, and the tiny 1 lb. baby faces a long road ahead of him. He has since survived surgery to close a valve in his heart, and his vitals are good for his condition. Please visit fellow writer Debbie at About Arlington, Texas, to read updates on her nephew Andrew.

Continued prayers and spiritual support are needed for Dr. Juanita Bynum after being assaulted by her husband. This situation is difficult enough to deal with, but to have to go through it in the public eye is unimaginable. Her strong faith and world-wide support system of followers will help her through this trial, but I pray also that the Lord can help her find the peace and sanctuary away from public scrutiny that she needs to grieve and to heal.

According to AOL News, six guests at a wedding party were killed when a pickup truck slammed into a crowd. 19 people were injured, ranging in age from 4 months to their 50’s. The pre-wedding celebration was being held at the home of the bride’s parents when the 71-year-old driver struck the crowd. Please pray for the family and friends, and for swift healing for the injured. What should have been one of the happiest occasions for this couple turned into one of the worst tragedies. Prayerful support is needed to help them cope with this disaster and deal with the deaths of the six guests.

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Juanita Bynum is recovering from her injuries after being attacked and choked by her husband. The couple was reportedly separated and met at a hotel to discuss reconciliation. Her husband turned on her and began choking her, causing injuries severe enough to require medical treatment. Dr. Bynum’s MySpace page includes an entry from her today that she is resting well. She also quoted Proverbs 4:25: Let your eyes look right on with fixed purpose and let your gaze be straight before you. It is clear that Dr. Bynum’s faith in the Lord is guiding her through this difficult time.

On Life as a Christian Woman, we began looking into the issue of domestic abuse in Christian marriage last month. The blog carnival entries in Abuse Through the Eyes of Christian Women included posts from a United Methodist clergywoman, a Catholic, and other Christian women. Based on the correspondence from that article, and in light of the attack on Dr. Bynum by her preacher husband, it is clear that we cannot allow this issue to fade away again. Domestic abuse is serious problem and churches and Christians must begin to catch up with the secular world in providing education, support, and guidance for the victims of these crimes.

Jocelyn Andersen, the author of Woman Submit! Christians and Domestic Violence, will be appearing here on Life as a Christian Woman Tuesday, August 28. She will be available throughout the day to answer questions and comments about her book and her experience as a battered wife. I urge you to please join us to talk to Ms. Andersen and to learn from a survivor the effects of abuse and the church views and Christian support desperately needed to fight this problem.

The links in this post will lead you to the previous discussions that have appeared on this site, and to the site where you can read the first chapter of Ms. Andersen’s inspiring book. Please keep Dr. Juanita Bynum in your prayers, and join Jocelyn Andersen on Tuesday to take part in making a change for Christian women worldwide who are suffering at the hands of violent men.

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For an update on Juanita Bynum, see the post “Celebrate Christmas with Juanita Bynum.”

Atlanta police have reported that Juanita Bynum and her preacher husband had an altercation in a hotel parking lot. She was battered and bruised, with bruising around her neck and upper torso.

Dr. Bynum is a well known televangelist, coference speaker, and gospel singer. Her Women On the Front Line conferences draw participants from around the United States. Dr. Bynum has traveled the world preaching God’s Word. Her ministries include books, music, speaking engagements, videos, mentorship programs, and many others.

With several events at Life as a Christian Woman focusing on Christian women and domestic violence, this story only reiterates how important this issue is. My deepest sympathies and prayers go out to Dr. Bynum during this trying time. She needs our spiritual strength and uplifting and our respect. I sincerely hope she realizes she does not have to deal with this alone, as so many battered women believe. I pray the Lord will guide her to take the hands that are reaching out to her.

For more on Dr. Bynum and her ministries, please visit her website.

Watch Juanita Bynum singing “One Night With the King.”

Juanita Bynum, christian women, domestic abuse, televangelist assaulted, prayer request

Win a hardback copy of Bible teacher Beth Moore’s Breaking Free: Making Liberty in Christ a Reality in Life. The contest is simple. From August 22 to August 29, leave a comment on this post or any other on this site telling either

• how a Beth Moore study has helped you.
• what freedom in Christ means to you.
• how you have you struggled to find freedom in Christ’s message.

Your comments do not have to be long; two or three sentences are fine, although please feel free to write more if you wish. To learn about the book or view sample pages, please visit Amazon.com.

The winner will be chosen randomly and announced on September 1. The book is from my personal library and is in like-new condition.

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I am swapping blogs with a fellow writer today. The issue of homosexuality and Christianity gains more and more attention in society’s headlines. Some Christians use the Bible to despise homosexuals. Some use the Bible to love them. Some homosexuals hate Christians for centuries of persecution. Some are Christians and find no struggle in their faith and sexual preference. But every human being deserves our ears, our understanding, and our attempt to live in this world together in the harmony God intended. To that end, I am handing over Life as a Christian Women to a woman of faith, courage, and compassion, who also happens to be a lesbian. I pray that you will give some serious thought to what she has to say. I also invite you to visit her blog at Lez Keep It Real to read my post, Were Arrested Christians Acting Christ-like?

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I couldn’t resist this story. Although it is not specific to Christian women, I am a member of the United Methodist Church and found this article intriguing.

Apparently, a tribe in Papua New Guinea has apologized for eating four Methodist missionaries in the 1800’s. According to Telegraph.co.uk, thousands of villagers attended a reconciliation ceremony during which the formal apology was given. The Tolai tribe was just one of many on the island that engaged in cannibalism, and certainly not the only one to dispose of missionaries in this fashion. As a Methodist, I do find it a bit ridiculous that a formal apology should be required.

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Today’s prayer list begins with a very special little boy named Andrew. A fellow writer here at 451 Press asked for prayers yesterday when an emergency C-section had to be performed on her sister-in-law. Medical complications forced doctors to deliver little Andrew prematurely at just 24 weeks. He is in NICU and has a long hard road ahead of him. Please visit Debbie at About Arlington, Texas to read her post and offer your support.

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ScrapbookScrapbook.com has added six different sets of Baptism and Dedication scrapbook pages to their website. The downloads include borders, scripture, scrolls, backgrounds, and clipart. The website has attempted to offer sets appropriate for all different practices for both children and adults.

Copyright ScrapbookScrapbook.com

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There are dozens of denominations within the Christian faith. Although they all accept the Bible as the word of God, the differences come into play in how the Word is interpreted. Traditions vary; roles of believers change focus; views of women and their roles in the church also differ. Today I am asking for your help. I am asking you to answer some questions about women in your denomination. From your answers, I will compile a list so that women who are searching for a church can see the differences that come into play and understand what is expected of them. From this, we can also begin to understand each other a little better. My personal walk with Jesus is not the same as your personal walk, and church views influence each woman’s experience.

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