Life as a Christian Woman

Time for the Williams family to hit the road for one last trip before school starts. Today we head to visit my friend, Stefanie.

I met her Stef when she was a 17 year old high school senior trying out for the college cheerleading squad that I coached. But over the four years that she cheered for me, we clicked. Our relationship moved from coach/cheerleader to friendship.

After she graduated, Stefanie became my assistant coach. When I opened my own business, she was the first person I hired (I use the term loosely, since very little pay was involved). When I met Doug and moved from the area, she was the one person I missed the most.

We have been through some rough patches, but our friendship never faltered. Email became a lifeline for us. She was the person I knew I could rant and rave, or sob and cry to, and she would get it.

When we were both newlyweds and living about five hours apart, we would meet once a year to go to a Tennessee football game. Then kids came along. When my daughter was just a couple of months old, we loaded up and headed south so Emilee could meet her “Aunt” Stefanie. You see, my mother died while I was pregnant, and Stef and her family “adopted” me. Her mom (who is only three years older than I am!) sends my daughter cards and signs them “Grandma Doris.

Now Stef has two girls, and this trip will be a chance for them to get together and build what we hope will be a friendship that will grow over the years.

If you were to see the two of us walking down the street, you might not think we would be candidates for a strong friendship. You see, I am (ouch) 50 and Stef is 33. I’m white, she is African-American. But our friendship is priceless.

You see, friends are a special gift from God. Friendships are set apart from family, a fact that is acknowledged in scripture:

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” Proverbs 17:17

Friendships must be maintained and nurtured, or they wither and die. Jesus valued his friends, he needed to lean on them just as we must at times lean on our friends. He also knew how to be a friend. He held his friends accountable, he laughed with them, he worried about them. I guess you could say that, in addition to everything else he did, Jesus set the standard for friendship, too.

“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you”
John 15:13-15

I once heard a saying: There are three types of friends, 1) Friends for a season, 2) Friends for reason, and 3) Friends for a lifetime.

I am blessed with so many great friends (and you all know who you are!). Some have come into my life for a short time, others for longer periods. Some came, left, and came back again. But very few friends are with you for years. Life changes, we move on.

When I first met Stefanie, I had no idea that God was placing her in my life to help me through times I would never dream of. But He knew. In fact, long before either of us was born, He knew that our friendship would defy the odds and last for nearly two decades (and still going strong!).

I guess I am a little more sentimental than usual because I am watching my own daughter at the early stages of building friendships… she is learning how she must treat people, and how she wants to be treated. It is all trial and error. And every night when I say a prayer for her, I pray that God surrounds her with Godly friends who will be with her through the storms and parties that life brings.

And somewhere along the way, I hope she has a friend like Stefanie.