Life as a Christian Woman

For Christians, Christmas is the time we celebrate the birth of Jesus. The Christ Mass honors God’s Son who was born of a virgin and sent to us to open the way to God and begin a new covenant with our Lord. No one knows the exact day Christ was actually born, but Christians celebrate his birth on December 25, a date that was a pagan celebration and chosen by a monk for the Christ Mass to provide an alternative to the pagan ritual. The season is a time of love and redemption, recognizing the miracle God gave us.

And beginning in October, sometimes earlier, we are bombarded with store advertisements, pressures to buy the perfect gift, find the greatest tree, hang the brightest lights in the neighborhood, and give until our bank accounts are empty and credit cards maxed out. How can Christians preserve the sanctity of the season in the midst of the “gimme” season?

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Life as a Christian Woman is hosting its second blog carnival: Christian Women Speak Up and Speak Out: Balancing the true meaning of Christmas with materialism.

How do you achieve a balance between the two? Or do you? Tell us what your family does to keep the spirit of Christ’s birth in your heart during the stress of the Holidays and the quest for “the perfect gift.”

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The experience of domestic abuse is not bound by religious beliefs, or a lack thereof. Christian women are subject to the same whims of violent men as their secular counterparts, but their options for coping with it are often limited by the views of the church. Divorce is forbidden, or at very least severely discouraged. Submission is expected. If the abuser is also a member of the church, silence by both spouses is strongly encouraged lest it cause a rift in the congregation. Prominent evangelical pastors counsel women to leave while the heat is on, then go back. These men also often add, “and avoid doing anything to make him angry.” So what do Christian women think about dealing with domestic abuse? From a United Methodist clergywoman, a devout Catholic, and others, some things are clear: You do not and will never have to deal with abuse alone — silence only encourages the sin of violence; the church has a responsibility to provide a safe haven for the wife and guidance for the husband; your life has a meaning, a purpose, and is precious to God — no man should be allowed to take away God’s creation; no matter what the church preaches, God will never ask you to repeatedly endanger your life — He has the power to change a man’s heart, but you do not.

The first entry comes from a United Methodist clergywoman. Her name and church have been withheld by request:

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Life as a Christian Woman will be hosting a blog carnival to discuss issues relevant to today’s women of faith. For the first edition, the issue is Christian women and domestic violence.

After reading several articles on the internet, it became clear to me that there is often a disparity of opinion between men and women on the issue of coping with domestic violence in Christian marriage. Many prominent male evangelists, including Dr. James Dobson, advise women in abusive situations to “leave while the heat is on” and then return. In other words, women are to put their very lives in danger over and over again with the goal of changing their husband’s behavior. This is so wrong on so many levels. Or is it? It is time for Christian women to make their voices heard on this issue. Here is your chance.

For further reading, this article by Bill Berkowitz is a great place to start. To participate in this blog carnival, simply send your entries to Aprilfreelance@aol.com, or use the contact link in the sidebar. Submission deadline is August 13, 2007. Entries will be posted on this site, with links included where provided, on August 15, 2007. This blog carnival will also be listed at Blog Carnival.com if you wish to visit me there.

All opinions on coping with domestic abuse from a Christian view are welcome, but please follow these guidelines:

• Entries should focus on domestic abuse in Christian marriage. Childhood abuse, abuse by church leaders, etc. are separate issues that need to be addressed separately.
• Please do not use full names except for people already in the public eye (such as televangelists). We are here to express ourselves from a Biblical basis and as Christian women, not to accuse.
• I realize domestic abuse is a heated issue for many people, men and women alike. Write your entry, set it aside for a little while, then go back and read it again before submitting. Sometimes when we write from heated emotions, we say things or reveal things we later regret.
• Anonymous posts are acceptable. Please state in your entry if you do not wish your name or link to your own website to appear.

I look forward to reading your opinions on this important issue. Invite your friends to speak up and speak out.

christian women, domestic abuse, christian marriage, blog carnival, faith, ministry, religion