Life as a Christian Woman

“Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you.”

Corrie Ten Boom
Christian woman who survived the Holocaust in a Nazi concentration camp

What do you do when you are faced with the undeniable truth that you have been misled, lied to, scammed?

Do you get angry? Vow revenge? Cry? Or maybe just slink away and promise yourself to be smarter next time?

I, and many others, are faced with that very situation today. Many of you may remember this column that I wrote on an unmarried pregnant woman who was facing harsh criticism from fellow Christians. Her baby had been diagnosed in utero with Trisomy 13, which would most likely bring death to her baby girl prior to birth or immediately thereafter.

This weekend “April Rose” was born. Hundreds of people stopped and prayed all weekend as we followed the updates that her friend posted. Suddenly, it all stopped.

And today comes the sad news that apparently this was all a hoax.

Many are angry, and those who had been the most vocal regarding helping this woman are being attacked themselves, even though they, too, have been lied to.  But the three young women who have led the charge to pray for this unborn child that appears to have never existed, are now asking us all to pray for the woman who perpetrated the scam.

And that, friends, is what we should all do.

I am angry, and upset. I cried over this baby girl over the weekend as it appeared life was slipping away. I wondered how her mother would be able to handle the pain of such a loss, yet rejoiced that she had been able to meet her daughter face to face. My gut reaction is to spout a few well chosen words, fling a “what goes around comes around” and get on with my life.

But that’s not what God would have me do.

For whatever reason, this woman chose to perpetrate a lie on many, many folks. But while she may not have presented herself factually, I think we can all agree that she needs prayer. Obviously, she has issues that we can only imagine. But, as Christians, we aren’t allowed to wallow in hatred. No, we must turn that other cheek and lift up those who have wronged us in prayer.

So today I am asking you to do just that. Just take a minute of time and say a prayer for “B”, as she called herself. Pray that God will heal whatever it is in her that has led her down this path. Pray for health, both mental and physical.

And pray for those that invested love and time in this woman, only to find out they had been misled. Pray that their hearts won’t harden to those who need to be loved on, but will remain open and loving.

Matthew 6:14-16
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Luke 6:37
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

¹⁸ The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

¹⁹ Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. ²⁰ So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. ²¹ So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. ²² Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

²³ The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”

²⁴ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Genesis 2: 18-24

Jon and Kate Plus 8 has been a popular reality show for several years now. The show features parents Jon and Kate Gosselin and their brood of eight, made up of twin girls who are eight, and sextuplets who are five.

The show has centered around how the family runs things with so many children. But this season has opened with questions about the Gosselin’s marriage, including rumors that both have had affairs (both Jon and Kate deny this).  And now Jon and Kate appear to be doing all of their communicating through various publications, rather than face to face.

But the cameras still roll, and the new season has begun, to higher ratings than ever.

Here is what I don’t get. Jon and Kate are Christians. Marriage is a gift from God, and you make a vow before God to love, honor and cherish your spouse.

Marriage isn’t easy, in fact it’s downright hard. But it’s a commitment, one that you aren’t supposed to take lightly. Christians, especially, should and do know this.

I don’t know if Jon or Kate either one had an affair. And I don’t care. But they need to turn the cameras off, quit talking to magazines, and talk to each other. Scream, yell, cry, whatever. But communicate with each other, face to face.

It probably won’t be pleasant. To save the marriage may take a ton of work.

But these two claim that everything they do is for their children. I don’t doubt them. I think they are probably good people, but they have lost their focus. They need to focus on their marriage.

And that brings it back home. All of us who are married need to realize that our home, our marriage, is our primary mission field.  We can’t allow anything to damage the marital relationship… not children, not money, not jobs, not anything!

I hope Jon and Kate realize this before it is too late, before the wave of media attention so dilutes their lives that they forget who they are at their core.

²⁷ So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

Genesis 1:27

Dear God, I love you so much. Thank you for making me so fantastic.

Emi, during nightly prayers.

If I were to ask you to describe yourself, how would you begin? Too short? Overweight? Curly hair that you wish were straight?

The fact is that we are never satisfied with ourselves. We are constantly looking to change things, to improve parts of us. And when we do run across that rare person who is secure in her own skin, we wonder to ourselves, “What makes her think she is so great?”

So I was taken aback tonight when my little girl opened her nightly prayer by thanking God for making her so fantastic. I made a mental note to talk to her about it. But then I remembered the verse from Genesis, how we are all made in God’s own image.

Pretty fantastic.

We were not rushed down an assembly line. We are not mass produced. Each of us is unique, yet we are all made by Him, in His image. He knitted us together in our mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). There is no part of us that God didn’t have a hand in making, yet we are so quick to criticize ourselves and list our shortcomings.

True, we aren’t perfect. But we are His creation! That is no small thing.

In fact, it’s pretty fantastic.

Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6

I was raised in church. It seemed like every time the doors were open, my family was there. Dad was a deacon, a trustee, a Sunday School teacher. Mom was in choir, taught Sunday School and worked in the children’s ministry. And I was involved at one time or another in every program from nursery through college and career.

Then I graduated college and moved out on my own. And suddenly, sleeping in was way more appealing than getting up early and going to church. Bible study dropped to, well, zero. Bad habits crept in. I fibbed to my parents and told them I was going to church whenever I could, even though it had been months, then several years, since I had darkened a church doorway.

Life moved on, and I met my future husband. For our second date, he asked me to go to church with him. Wow! So off we went, and it was wonderful. Suddenly I was back in the swing.

Here’s the amazing thing… it was like I had never left. All the verses of scripture that I had learned so long ago? Still in the recesses of my brain. The music? All there.

Hmmm, maybe I hadn’t been so far away. All those years of going to church, where it was no big deal, just something that we did because of our faith, had planted seeds in my spirit, my soul, that never left me.

But there was one instance that drove that point home. We were at a friend’s house, at his son was trying to remember the names of the 12 disciples. Suddenly I burst into a little song I had known as a child:

There were 12 disciples Jesus called to help him:
Simon Peter, Andrew, James, his brother John.
Phillip, Thomas, Matthew, James the son of Alpheus,
Thaddeus, Simon, Judas and Bartholomew.

He has called us, too. He has called us, too.
We are his disciples, I am one and you.
He has called us, too. He has called us, too.
We are his disciples, we his work must do.

Double wow.

A song I hadn’t sung in probably 30 years sprung out of my brain like Old Faithful gushing at Yellowstone.

So all you parents out there who don’t believe that it matters whether you are at a soccer field on Sunday morning or in church, you are wrong. It does matter. You may never know just how much it matters, but it does. Because it plants the seed. It puts it there for eternity.

And it may just affect your child’s eternity!

What constitutes a blessing?

I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of blessings this week. It’s so easy to simplify the idea of a blessing as just asking for and getting something. Even dictionary.com says as much in one of it’s definitions of the word:

A favor or gift bestowed by God, thereby bringing happiness.

So is that it? A blessing is anything that brings you happiness? I mean, sure, it’s easy to look at your sleeping child and feel the blessing that God has given you through that little one. But that little one is going to grow up and become a teenager, and odds are that you are going to have some disagreements (which is probably a nice way to put it). Teenagers often bring their own level of angst and worry to the table, with a dose of “I think my parents are dumb” with it. Far from happiness!

Does that mean that they are no longer a blessing in your life?

You have a job that you enjoy, that puts food on the table and a roof over your head. You tell everyone how blessed you are.  But you get laid off. Does that mean you aren’t blessed anymore?

See, when we over-simplify ideas, we miss some of their beauty. That teenager is still a blessing, albeit one that keeps you up at night! And even though you may suffer a job loss, the path that God is laying out may be filled with blessings you can’t imagine.

Several close friends of ours were laid off in the last few months. But they are still blessed. They have families that love them, and friends ready to help if needed. They have the prayers of their church family. There is struggle, but they are blessed.

Sometimes the struggle is a blessing unto itself.

Remember Stellan, the baby boy with heart problems that I wrote about? (Stellan’s Story) His family is going through a really tough time. Mom is with Stellan in Boston at a hospital while Dad is back home with the other three children in the midwest. They are exhausted and broken. And yet, blessed. And they know it. They look at their little boy and know that God is smiling on them.

So I guess what I am trying to say is, don’t just assume all blessings are easy, wonderful things. Sometimes the road to a blessing is the blessing itself!

The alarm went off. After hitting the snooze button a couple of times, I got up. Time to get ready for church.

I stood in my closet for a few minutes, in the middle of all my clothes, and thought “I’ve got nothing to wear.” I rushed down the hall to start getting my little girl dressed for church. I wondered where my husband was… turns out he was downstairs immersed in SportsCenter on TV. I yelled… “Time to get ready, we need to leave in 10 minutes!” I was irritated. How come he had been up for two hours and still hadn’t started getting ready?

I grabbed an outfit for my daughter and hurriedly got her dressed, brushed her teeth and ran a comb through her hair. Where were her shoes? She didn’t know, which probably shot my blood pressure up about 50 points. “Find them!” I barked.

I pushed past my husband in the bathroom to get to the mirror, combed my hair and huffed that we needed to get moving. He said not to worry, we’d be on time. “Hmph,” I thought. On time for him is before the preacher starts the sermon. I want to be there for the music, too.

We got in the car. Dead battery. Figures. We jumped into our other car, but my husband had to go in to get his glasses. “Hurry!” I yelled angrily.

“Yeah, daddy, hurry up!” my five year old said.

“Don’t talk like that to your father,” I said.

“Why not? You do,” she answered.

The alarm went off. The young woman, in her early 20’s, jumped up. Time to go to church. She dressed quickly, then set out into the darkness. She looked over her shoulder a few times as she hurried down the streets. It was a couple of miles to her destination, and she quickened her step. She wanted to be on time.

We pulled into the church parking lot as it started to rain. “Great,” I thought. I grabbed my daughter and pulled her along. My husband went to get seats in the sanctuary as I took our little girl to Sunday School. I pulled her swiftly through the hallways and to her class, put a nametag on her and took off. I heard the guitars and drums playing, the choir singing.

“I knew we would be late,” I thought to myself. I snuck in the back and found my husband. He smiled, but I was too stressed to smile back.

The young woman arrived at a small, non-descript house. After checking over her shoulder one last time, she knocked on the door. It opened, she went in, and was greeted by nine others. All were smiling, welcoming. Hugs all around. She had arrived at church. After a few moments, the group began to sing. No piano, no guitar. Just 10 voices singing to God. Hands lifted to the Lord. Smiles. Praise.

Time for the offering. As the plate was passed, my husband and I realized in our rush we had forgotten our tithe. “Oh well, we’ll make it up next week,” I thought. Besides, with the economy the way it is, skipping a week is understandable. A soloist began singing. I’m sure it was a great song, but I was lost in my thoughts. Had I remembered a jacket for my daughter?

As soon as the preaching began, the woman in front of me pulled out her cell phone. I glanced over and noticed she was playing the game Pac Man. I couldn’t believe she was so obviously not paying attention. Of course, I wasn’t either, but nobody could tell.

The young woman and her friends began studying scripture. They read from the Bible, then discussed what they had read. There was only one Bible for the group. They took turns reading from it, passing it around the room gently, reverently.

Finally, the hymn of invitation. I noticed several people go to the altar to pray as we sang. Then it was over. We picked up our daughter, loaded up the car and went to lunch. Once we got home, we went in three different directions, my husband out to mow the yard, my daughter to play with the little girls next door, and I sat down to pay bills.

Another typical Sunday.

After several hours, the group had a snack. Then it was time for them all to go out into the world around them, the world that said that if they were caught praising God in their “House Church,” they would be sent to jail. They hugged, said a final prayer, and entered out into a land that was hostile to their faith. The young woman walked home, filled with the spirit of God. Full of His love.

Another typical Sunday.

The bold/italicized lines above are fiction, yet also very true. Throughout China, “House Churches” are the only way that Chinese Christians can meet to worship God. They are illegal. While Christianity, itself, is not considered illegal, it is only the official “state” version that is allowed, and it is far from scriptural.

The other story, sadly, is true. It is my story from this past Sunday. I am embarrassed and ashamed to admit it, but I need to admit it. I am far from perfect, but I take so much for granted. If I lived in a country where I had to sneak to worship, would I appreciate it more? Or would I even try?

It may be your story, too.

We can do better. We need to do better.

⁵ “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you…
Jeremiah 1:5a

¹⁵ Did not he who made me in the womb make them?  Did not the same one form us both within our mothers?
Job 31:15

⁹ Yet you brought me out of the womb;
you made me trust in you even at my mother’s breast.
¹⁰ From birth I was cast upon you;
from my mother’s womb you have been my God.
Psalm 22: 9-10

Today I am angry. Very, very angry.

A friend recently asked me to pray for a young woman that she had heard about. This woman is pregnant, currently at 34 weeks, and the doctors have determined that her child, a girl, will most likely die in utero. Even if the baby makes it to delivery, the likelihood of survival is virtually nil.

The young mother is a Christian with a strong faith. She is broken and broken-hearted, but knows that God is with her and will carry her through this, and stands ready to take her daughter to live with Him.  The mother is active in her church.

And unmarried.

She became pregnant outside of marriage. But this isn’t why I’m angry. I’m angry at what a few of her fellow Christians, her brothers and sisters in Christ, have put her through.

When she found out she was pregnant, more that a few suggested… strongly… that she get an abortion.  When it was determined that her baby would not survive, several suggested that this was God’s way of punishing her.

But she has persevered. And her faith has grown as she has worked her way through this crisis. I would like to excerpt some of her words regarding her feelings, as they are so pure and heartfelt, I could never improve upon them:

We all make mistakes, but God doesn’t. And like I have previously said, I do not believe that God punishes people with babies. I also do not think the answer is ever abortion.

We can’t be “pro-life” but simultaneously shun the girl in the church pew who has repented, but yes, is pregnant (I would go as far as saying we can’t even shun the unrepentive girl in the church pew who is pregnant…). I believe that if we are “pro-life” then we need to make more of an effort to impart life as a core value among our friends, community, churches, etc.

And while I say this being in this situation, I believe it needs to be said regardless. We (meaning specifically the body of Christ/sisters in Christ/fellow mothers/pro-life individuals) need to let those carrying the life know they are loved. The personal discouragement that I felt from “friends” and some within my “church community” this past year was enough to (thankfully, only) almost move me in a different direction. I strongly believe that when a girl is alone, or an unmarried couple is struggling with an unplanned pregnancy - they need support, not judgement. We need to be willing to set aside our own judgements and simply meet them where they are at, not make them feel worse off, less forgiven, more judged than they already feel from within.
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In short, we can’t claim to be “pro-life,” and then be the first to throw the stone at the pregnant woman/unmarried couple facing this kind of situation. Life won’t be valued and had, if the life-carrier (aka the mom), feels no support.

It is true, we make our own choices. I made mine. It is also true that God doesn’t wait until the “crisis” (yes, I did consider my pregnancy such) to warn us. God speaks the truth and His intentions are always clear. He wants to save us from our sins. He tells us as it is, explains how sin will hurt us, and then He offers us a better way. I knew having sex could mean pregnancy. I didn’t listen to Him and I did find myself in crisis. What a lesson in the misunderstanding of the severity of consequences and the power of prevention, right?
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But even in the crisis God is there. All it ever requires is us going back to Him and/or repenting. I think as Christians, we also need to be there. And while I say all of this in regards to being pro-life and pregnant, I think the lesson can be applied across the board. Who are we to judge? Who are we to shun? Who are we to gossip about? When our sin is right there alongside the next persons? Visible, invisible, big, small; sin is sin.
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Truth be told, I am completely incapable of living this life without completing falling on my face, but praise God I have a Savior who died for me. The very blood I made Him bleed, He used to cover me, and you. All our sins. All of them. So… “Knocked up?” … No, just a sinner. Saved by grace. Praise Him.

The scriptures that I included at the top of this post make it clear that the minute, THE VERY SECOND, that our lives are formed, we are His. He knows us. He loves us before our parents even know of our existence.

Yet there is another scripture that I find equally compelling. It is a story so familiar that we skip over it. An adulterous woman brought before our Lord by the leaders of the church. They want Jesus to condemn her. His reaction? Anyone without sin feel free to throw the first rock.

And the leaders skulk off, beaten once again.

But the story doesn’t end there. He looks the woman in the eye. And he tells her that he doesn’t condemn her, either.

¹But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. ²Early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people were coming to Him; and He sat down and began to teach them.

³The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the court, ⁴they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act.

⁵“Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?”  ⁶They were saying this, testing Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground.

⁷But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”

⁸Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground.

⁹When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the court.

¹⁰Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?”

¹¹She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.”
John 8: 1-11

I don’t know what the future holds for this young mother and her unborn child. Miracles happen, and I, along with many others who have read her blog, are praying for a miracle. But should God call the little one home, how wonderful that this young mother rests in the arms of our Lord, allowing Him to comfort her.

And how wonderful that her love of and trust in God was not destroyed by those who condemn her.

Click here to read this young mother’s blog, or visit littleoneapril.blogspot.com

First I must say whoever wins the election will have my prayer support.
– Huntley Brown

Unless you have been living in a cave for the past, oh, four years, you know that we are in the final stages of a political campaign in the U.S. As we enter the last few days (yippee!), the mud is sailing, the rhetoric has gone into double-time.

And the out-and-out lies are flying. But not from the candidates…

From you and me.

The internet can be a wonderfully informing place to be. But it can also be a dangerous place. We all know about predators that lurk in chat rooms, scams trying to drain your bank accounts, and hackers who want to steal your identity.

But those seemingly innocuous emails that come in from friends, with challenges to “step up to the plate and let all your friends know how bad “Candidate A” or “Candidate B” is, well, in most cases they, too, are dangerous, and all lies.

Each time I get an email, I go straight to Snopes.com to verify. And in the past two weeks I have gotten over 20 emails, each one with more lies than the last. They are full of innuendo designed to scare the reader away from one candidate and straight to another.

These emails challenge me to pass them on, to help warn other voters about the dark past, or secret goals, of one candidate or the other.

First of all, I doubt that any email has ever changed someone’s vote. But if they are forwarded without thought to fact-checking, then the forwarder becomes complicit in the smokescreen.

This past week I got a forwarded email that I found out was true. Huntley Brown, a fabulous African-American pianist and strong Christian man, had been asked repeatedly by his friends who he was voting for and why. Mr. Brown has said it was never intended for mass publication, but one of his friends posted it and it has entered the internet, never to be stopped!

At any rate, there are several parts that jump out at me:

First I must say whoever wins the election will have my prayer support.

I process my identity through Christ. Being a Christian (a Christ follower) means He leads, I follow. I can’t dictate the terms, He does because He is the leader.

I can’t vote black because I am black; I have to vote Christian because that’s who I am. Christian first, black second.  Neither should anyone from other ethnic groups vote because of ethnicity. 200 years from now I won’t be asked if I was black or white. I will be asked if I knew Jesus and accepted Him as Lord and Savior.

All of this makes sense as a Christian. We have to put aside our personal biases, and look at this and any election as a Christian first. Which leader is more likely to continue an agenda that is faith-based?  Who is more likely to take our Christian beliefs and push them to the back, in the name of political correctness.

This isn’t about being Democrat or Republican, Blue State or Red State, Black or White, Liberal or Conservative. It is about following your Christian convictions. It is about breaking through your own biases and opinions, and seeking the opinion of the only One who matters.

And then following Him.

It also means that, as a Christian, you must get out and vote! No excuses. Christians cannot lead, cannot expect to hold onto this country, if we do not take the time to vote for the ones we feel God leads us to vote for.

Vote!

A few years ago I was at a football game with my husband. A woman was sitting next to me with her five year old son as well as her sister, while her husband and a friend of his were sitting a few rows in front of them. Their agreement was that the son would sit with her in the first half, and with dad in the second half. The little boy squealed and squirmed his way through the first half, and the mom was ready to pass him to dad.

At halftime, they made the exchange… but just a few minutes later, the little boy wanted his mom. He called to her, and her husband turned around and said, “He wants to sit with you.” Her response? She crossed her arms in an ‘X’ and said, “Access denied!” The little boy pouted (so did the dad!), but mom got to watch the second half.

This past weekend, as we sat at a game with our five year old, we remembered that mom’s words. We laughed about it, but we also know that if that little boy had really needed his mom, she would have dropped the ‘X’ and been there for him.

Isn’t it great to know that we have a Heavenly Father who never denies us access? He never says, “Sorry, I’m busy over in Alabama right now, but I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.” He’s there, no matter how small or large the problem.

Our God is omnipotent!

The only hard part? Reminding ourselves to go to Him! Here we have this open access to the Most Holy, and we tend to worry, fret, anything but turn to Him. We have an omnipotent, awesome God, who always listens, never turns us away, and yet we will talk to everyone about our needs… our hairdresser, our friends, our family, even complete strangers, yet won’t turn to God.

Maybe we need to open up the access on our end!

I have a friend who just can’t stop. She goes 900 miles an hour from the minute she gets up until she collapses in sleep.

The other day she commented that she has a gap of time between when she drops her children off at school and another appointment. The gap is too short to get anything done, and she feels lost.

“Not me,” I chimed.

I love those little breaks in the day. I have a couple of “secret” places around town where I can park my car, put my seat back and take a break with God. Whether it’s five minutes or an hour, I have a Bible in the car and use the time to my advantage. Sometimes I just sit and talk to God, other times I immerse myself in study. But the common thread is that I stop, with no noise, no outside interference.

“Oh, I could never do that,” my friend said. “I have to be doing something.”

But does she, or any of us, really have to? Why do we feel like each minute of each day has to be filled accomplishing something. Isn’t spending time with God accomplishing something larger than any shopping trip could?

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the Earth.”   Psalm 46:10

Be still. Stop. Know God. Acknowledge Him. He is to be exalted. Praise Him!

I believe that one of the greatest experiences a Christian can have is to enter into God’s presence. Can you believe that our God, Lord of all, Creator of everything, the Alpha and Omega, allows us to talk to Him? Us! And yet, we are so busy filling our lives with junk that we miss those opportunities, we push our quiet time with Him to the back.

If I had a nickel for every time I have said, “I’ll pray when I get in bed tonight,” and then fell asleep almost as soon as I started that prayer, I would be one rich woman!

Stop… enter into His presence… And celebrate a God who wants to talk with you!

One week ago Sarah Palin was introduced as John McCain’s running mate, much to the surprise of everyone. But that was only the beginning.

It was announced yesterday that Palin’s 17-year-old unmarried daughter, Bristol, is pregnant. She is keeping the baby, and will be marrying the father sometime in the future.

Added to this family scenario is five-month-old son, Trig, who has Down’s Syndrome.

You could see the journalists and political pundits salivating at the stories being laid at their feet. But here is the real story:

Sarah Palin and her husband, Todd, chose to have their son, despite being informed of his condition in utero. They could have taken chosen an easier path, but knew that their son was a gift from God, just like their other four children. According to various studies in the late 1990’s, more than 80% of prenatal diagnoses of Down Syndrome end in abortion.

But the Palins, staunchly pro-life, never considered the alternative. On April 18, 6-pound, 2-ounce son Trig Paxson Van Palin was born.

“We’ve both been very vocal about being pro-life,” Palin told the Associated Press, speaking of herself and her husband, Todd. “We understand that every innocent life has wonderful potential.”

The day after the birth, the Palins released the following statement: “Trig is beautiful and already adored by us. We knew through early testing he would face special challenges, and we feel privileged that God would entrust us with this gift and allow us unspeakable joy as he entered our lives. We have faith that every baby is created for good purpose and has potential to make this world a better place. We are truly blessed.”

Now, they are face the world with a pregnant teenager. Yet their answer to all of the questions is the same. Every baby is a gift from God. Yes, there will be challenges and we wouldn’t have chosen this road for our daughter. But these are our facts, we love our daughter and we will love and support her through this.

Conservatives have come out in full force, commending the family for “talking the talk and walking the walk.” No less than James Dobson of Focus on the Family has backed the Governor from Alaska. While Dobson is a proponent of mothers staying at home with their children, he has welcomed Palin’s candidacy and wholeheartedly endorsed her reaction to her daughter’s pregnancy.

“The media are already trying to spin this as evidence Gov. Palin is a ‘hypocrite,’ but all it really means is that she and her family are human,” Mr. Dobson said.

I don’t know where I stand on her candidacy, and that is not the discussion I am trying to start. I do wonder if any of this would even be an issue if a man was the candidate and the same issues were in his family. Sometimes it seems like women are expected to toe two different lines in today’s world. Supermom/wife and captain of industry.

For better or for worse, a dialogue has been opened regarding these issues. Our local tv station was on campus today interviewing female college freshmen for their opinions on the Palin family situation. My own step-daughter was interviewed, although I won’t know what she said until I watch the news at 11.

Take this opportunity to talk to your kids. Keep communication open on all fronts.

I was reading an article the other day about the freshman year of college, specifically how the year is pivotal in the life of young Christians. As you can imagine, so many begin college and quit attending church regularly, if at all.

Christian organizations have long had a presence in and around college campuses. Groups such as Campus Crusade for Christ, InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, Fellowship of Christian Athletes and others do their best to reach that age group, and have some success. Individual denominations also make the push to get college kids involved in programs.

Yet this remains a time when many turn away from church. Why?

The answers are both simple and complicated (I don’t mean that as a cop-out!). Simple, because when I think back to my own time in college, I usually chose sleeping in over getting up and going to church. Complicated, because for many it is their first taste of independence, and church can suddenly seem so traditional, i.e. boring.

Even the most faithful Christian families wrestle with this. My parents were mortified when I stopped attending church in college. They raised me to be active and faithful. And they let me know it, too!

In my own house now, my step-daughter is beginning her freshman year of college, but so far seems inclined to keep attending. I attribute that more to the fact that she is going to school locally and can continue to attend the same church with all of her friends. But she is the exception to the rule.

So what is a parent to do?

If you have a college student in the family, encourage them to get involved. Do your own homework on campus organizations that may be of interest, or a church near the university that has a strong college outreach program.

But beyond that, it is up to them. Time for us to cut the strings and rely more faithfully on prayer. The spirit of the Lord has not left them just because they left for college, or because they choose not to attend church. The seeds that you as a parent have planted over the first 18 years of life are still there.

Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

There is great comfort in these words for a parent. We pray that our children will walk with God throughout there lives, be faithful in attendance and follow His commandments. But the reality is that so many get sidetracked, at least for awhile.

But remember those words from Proverbs. Bathe your child in prayer. He or she will be blessed for it and by it.

We are bombarded with images of perceived beauty daily, virtually by the minute. “Use this cream and your skin will look younger,” the ads scream at us. “That man will love you more if you use this haircolor,” the ads insinuate. We get the message that whatever we are born with is not good enough. We need to look like the movie star of the day, buy the right clothes, fit the right size mold, and then our lives will be fulfilled.

Ouch!

These messages are aimed at our kids, too. So now, it isn’t just enough that adult women feel the pressure to fit society’s mold of beauty, but our five year olds are trying to fit the mold, too.

I recently picked up a book called, The Lolita Effect: The Media Sexualization of Young GIrls and What We Can Do About It, by M. Gigi Durham, Ph.D., (Overlook, 2008). I am just at the start, but the premise is obvious. Girls are inundated from an early age to sexualize themselves. Teeny bikinis. Booty-shaking dancing. It’s all there.

What we all need to remember… study, learn, repeat to ourselves, whatever it takes, are the old adages that our moms used to tell us: Beauty comes from within. Beauty is as beauty does.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve spent a small fortune attempting to attain that elusive “beauty.” (OK, maybe not so small of a fortune!). Physical beauty is wonderful, but it can’t be our goal. In I Peter, we read:

Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.
I Peter 3:1-7

Real beauty, inner beauty, can change the world. It sheds light where there is darkness. It brings joy in the midst of sadness. And it effects everyone around. Peter goes on to instruct Christian wives to develop their inner beauty, as their husbands will be won by their loving spirit, rather than their looks. If we live our lives developing our inner beauty, our families and friends will see Christ in us.

When we focus on the outward appearance, we become self-centered and can become vain.

For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.
I Timothy 2:10

It does not go against scripture for a woman to want to look pretty. But inner beauty must be the goal. I’ve often used the Christmas present analogy. If you have two presents that are side-by-side, one wrapped in the shiniest paper and the other in plain brown, most people will quickly open the beautifully wrapped gift. But if what is inside is ugly, or the wrong size, the gift will be meaningless. If the plain package is opened to reveal something beautiful, it will be treasured for years to come. The outside is meaningless in the long run, it’s the inside that is the treasure!

And to reference an earlier blog, having the heart of a servant will increase your beauty ten-fold (The Heart of a Servant). Nothing shines brighter to our Heavenly Father as one who humbly serves…

Talk about true beauty!