Life as a Christian Woman

Millions watched tonight as a marriage ended.

Oh, there was no surprise when Jon and Kate Gosselin announced they were separating, followed by the announcement that on Monday the two had filed for divorce.

As I watched, I was saddened by the statements coming from them. Jon, in particular, said he was both sad and “excited” about the new chapter of his life.

Really? Excited? He reiterated that he is only 32, and can’t wait to see what the future holds.

Kate, for her part, kept repeating how she would always put the kids first (Jon said the same thing). Then, each talked about the new “schedule” that they would have with the kids.

Both said that this would have happened even if they had never done a reality show.

And then it was over. Really over.

Many people are going to have strong opinions about who is at fault, what the two of them should have done, etc. But finger pointing does no good, and none of us are in the marriage to know what “really” happened, reality show or not. We don’t know them, no matter how many episodes we have watched. We know what they want us to know, and what editors think will make better TV (and really, the happiest people on earth must be the folks at TLC, the network that televises Jon and Kate plus 8, talk about a ratings winner).

But what this should re-emphasize to all of us is that marriage is a fragile thing. It is hard work, and when you let anyone enter into the marriage with the husband and wife, you are inviting trouble. It doesn’t have to be a reality show, it can be in-laws, friends, anyone who can in any way turn the focus away from the union itself.

A marriage is between two, a man and a woman. No one else has the right to tamper with that union. Vows taken before God between two Christians are meant to last a lifetime, not until one party or the other wants to move on.

It’s easy to want out. Sometimes it’s harder to stay. I’m going to write more this week about marriage. We’ll look at what scripture says vs. what popular culture says.

A Godly marriage may be hard work, but it is worth every minute… even the tough ones!

¹⁸ The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

¹⁹ Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. ²⁰ So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. ²¹ So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. ²² Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

²³ The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”

²⁴ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Genesis 2: 18-24

Jon and Kate Plus 8 has been a popular reality show for several years now. The show features parents Jon and Kate Gosselin and their brood of eight, made up of twin girls who are eight, and sextuplets who are five.

The show has centered around how the family runs things with so many children. But this season has opened with questions about the Gosselin’s marriage, including rumors that both have had affairs (both Jon and Kate deny this).  And now Jon and Kate appear to be doing all of their communicating through various publications, rather than face to face.

But the cameras still roll, and the new season has begun, to higher ratings than ever.

Here is what I don’t get. Jon and Kate are Christians. Marriage is a gift from God, and you make a vow before God to love, honor and cherish your spouse.

Marriage isn’t easy, in fact it’s downright hard. But it’s a commitment, one that you aren’t supposed to take lightly. Christians, especially, should and do know this.

I don’t know if Jon or Kate either one had an affair. And I don’t care. But they need to turn the cameras off, quit talking to magazines, and talk to each other. Scream, yell, cry, whatever. But communicate with each other, face to face.

It probably won’t be pleasant. To save the marriage may take a ton of work.

But these two claim that everything they do is for their children. I don’t doubt them. I think they are probably good people, but they have lost their focus. They need to focus on their marriage.

And that brings it back home. All of us who are married need to realize that our home, our marriage, is our primary mission field.  We can’t allow anything to damage the marital relationship… not children, not money, not jobs, not anything!

I hope Jon and Kate realize this before it is too late, before the wave of media attention so dilutes their lives that they forget who they are at their core.

²⁷ So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

Genesis 1:27

Dear God, I love you so much. Thank you for making me so fantastic.

Emi, during nightly prayers.

If I were to ask you to describe yourself, how would you begin? Too short? Overweight? Curly hair that you wish were straight?

The fact is that we are never satisfied with ourselves. We are constantly looking to change things, to improve parts of us. And when we do run across that rare person who is secure in her own skin, we wonder to ourselves, “What makes her think she is so great?”

So I was taken aback tonight when my little girl opened her nightly prayer by thanking God for making her so fantastic. I made a mental note to talk to her about it. But then I remembered the verse from Genesis, how we are all made in God’s own image.

Pretty fantastic.

We were not rushed down an assembly line. We are not mass produced. Each of us is unique, yet we are all made by Him, in His image. He knitted us together in our mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). There is no part of us that God didn’t have a hand in making, yet we are so quick to criticize ourselves and list our shortcomings.

True, we aren’t perfect. But we are His creation! That is no small thing.

In fact, it’s pretty fantastic.

The alarm went off. After hitting the snooze button a couple of times, I got up. Time to get ready for church.

I stood in my closet for a few minutes, in the middle of all my clothes, and thought “I’ve got nothing to wear.” I rushed down the hall to start getting my little girl dressed for church. I wondered where my husband was… turns out he was downstairs immersed in SportsCenter on TV. I yelled… “Time to get ready, we need to leave in 10 minutes!” I was irritated. How come he had been up for two hours and still hadn’t started getting ready?

I grabbed an outfit for my daughter and hurriedly got her dressed, brushed her teeth and ran a comb through her hair. Where were her shoes? She didn’t know, which probably shot my blood pressure up about 50 points. “Find them!” I barked.

I pushed past my husband in the bathroom to get to the mirror, combed my hair and huffed that we needed to get moving. He said not to worry, we’d be on time. “Hmph,” I thought. On time for him is before the preacher starts the sermon. I want to be there for the music, too.

We got in the car. Dead battery. Figures. We jumped into our other car, but my husband had to go in to get his glasses. “Hurry!” I yelled angrily.

“Yeah, daddy, hurry up!” my five year old said.

“Don’t talk like that to your father,” I said.

“Why not? You do,” she answered.

The alarm went off. The young woman, in her early 20’s, jumped up. Time to go to church. She dressed quickly, then set out into the darkness. She looked over her shoulder a few times as she hurried down the streets. It was a couple of miles to her destination, and she quickened her step. She wanted to be on time.

We pulled into the church parking lot as it started to rain. “Great,” I thought. I grabbed my daughter and pulled her along. My husband went to get seats in the sanctuary as I took our little girl to Sunday School. I pulled her swiftly through the hallways and to her class, put a nametag on her and took off. I heard the guitars and drums playing, the choir singing.

“I knew we would be late,” I thought to myself. I snuck in the back and found my husband. He smiled, but I was too stressed to smile back.

The young woman arrived at a small, non-descript house. After checking over her shoulder one last time, she knocked on the door. It opened, she went in, and was greeted by nine others. All were smiling, welcoming. Hugs all around. She had arrived at church. After a few moments, the group began to sing. No piano, no guitar. Just 10 voices singing to God. Hands lifted to the Lord. Smiles. Praise.

Time for the offering. As the plate was passed, my husband and I realized in our rush we had forgotten our tithe. “Oh well, we’ll make it up next week,” I thought. Besides, with the economy the way it is, skipping a week is understandable. A soloist began singing. I’m sure it was a great song, but I was lost in my thoughts. Had I remembered a jacket for my daughter?

As soon as the preaching began, the woman in front of me pulled out her cell phone. I glanced over and noticed she was playing the game Pac Man. I couldn’t believe she was so obviously not paying attention. Of course, I wasn’t either, but nobody could tell.

The young woman and her friends began studying scripture. They read from the Bible, then discussed what they had read. There was only one Bible for the group. They took turns reading from it, passing it around the room gently, reverently.

Finally, the hymn of invitation. I noticed several people go to the altar to pray as we sang. Then it was over. We picked up our daughter, loaded up the car and went to lunch. Once we got home, we went in three different directions, my husband out to mow the yard, my daughter to play with the little girls next door, and I sat down to pay bills.

Another typical Sunday.

After several hours, the group had a snack. Then it was time for them all to go out into the world around them, the world that said that if they were caught praising God in their “House Church,” they would be sent to jail. They hugged, said a final prayer, and entered out into a land that was hostile to their faith. The young woman walked home, filled with the spirit of God. Full of His love.

Another typical Sunday.

The bold/italicized lines above are fiction, yet also very true. Throughout China, “House Churches” are the only way that Chinese Christians can meet to worship God. They are illegal. While Christianity, itself, is not considered illegal, it is only the official “state” version that is allowed, and it is far from scriptural.

The other story, sadly, is true. It is my story from this past Sunday. I am embarrassed and ashamed to admit it, but I need to admit it. I am far from perfect, but I take so much for granted. If I lived in a country where I had to sneak to worship, would I appreciate it more? Or would I even try?

It may be your story, too.

We can do better. We need to do better.

⁵ “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you…
Jeremiah 1:5a

¹⁵ Did not he who made me in the womb make them?  Did not the same one form us both within our mothers?
Job 31:15

⁹ Yet you brought me out of the womb;
you made me trust in you even at my mother’s breast.
¹⁰ From birth I was cast upon you;
from my mother’s womb you have been my God.
Psalm 22: 9-10

Today I am angry. Very, very angry.

A friend recently asked me to pray for a young woman that she had heard about. This woman is pregnant, currently at 34 weeks, and the doctors have determined that her child, a girl, will most likely die in utero. Even if the baby makes it to delivery, the likelihood of survival is virtually nil.

The young mother is a Christian with a strong faith. She is broken and broken-hearted, but knows that God is with her and will carry her through this, and stands ready to take her daughter to live with Him.  The mother is active in her church.

And unmarried.

She became pregnant outside of marriage. But this isn’t why I’m angry. I’m angry at what a few of her fellow Christians, her brothers and sisters in Christ, have put her through.

When she found out she was pregnant, more that a few suggested… strongly… that she get an abortion.  When it was determined that her baby would not survive, several suggested that this was God’s way of punishing her.

But she has persevered. And her faith has grown as she has worked her way through this crisis. I would like to excerpt some of her words regarding her feelings, as they are so pure and heartfelt, I could never improve upon them:

We all make mistakes, but God doesn’t. And like I have previously said, I do not believe that God punishes people with babies. I also do not think the answer is ever abortion.

We can’t be “pro-life” but simultaneously shun the girl in the church pew who has repented, but yes, is pregnant (I would go as far as saying we can’t even shun the unrepentive girl in the church pew who is pregnant…). I believe that if we are “pro-life” then we need to make more of an effort to impart life as a core value among our friends, community, churches, etc.

And while I say this being in this situation, I believe it needs to be said regardless. We (meaning specifically the body of Christ/sisters in Christ/fellow mothers/pro-life individuals) need to let those carrying the life know they are loved. The personal discouragement that I felt from “friends” and some within my “church community” this past year was enough to (thankfully, only) almost move me in a different direction. I strongly believe that when a girl is alone, or an unmarried couple is struggling with an unplanned pregnancy - they need support, not judgement. We need to be willing to set aside our own judgements and simply meet them where they are at, not make them feel worse off, less forgiven, more judged than they already feel from within.
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In short, we can’t claim to be “pro-life,” and then be the first to throw the stone at the pregnant woman/unmarried couple facing this kind of situation. Life won’t be valued and had, if the life-carrier (aka the mom), feels no support.

It is true, we make our own choices. I made mine. It is also true that God doesn’t wait until the “crisis” (yes, I did consider my pregnancy such) to warn us. God speaks the truth and His intentions are always clear. He wants to save us from our sins. He tells us as it is, explains how sin will hurt us, and then He offers us a better way. I knew having sex could mean pregnancy. I didn’t listen to Him and I did find myself in crisis. What a lesson in the misunderstanding of the severity of consequences and the power of prevention, right?
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But even in the crisis God is there. All it ever requires is us going back to Him and/or repenting. I think as Christians, we also need to be there. And while I say all of this in regards to being pro-life and pregnant, I think the lesson can be applied across the board. Who are we to judge? Who are we to shun? Who are we to gossip about? When our sin is right there alongside the next persons? Visible, invisible, big, small; sin is sin.
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Truth be told, I am completely incapable of living this life without completing falling on my face, but praise God I have a Savior who died for me. The very blood I made Him bleed, He used to cover me, and you. All our sins. All of them. So… “Knocked up?” … No, just a sinner. Saved by grace. Praise Him.

The scriptures that I included at the top of this post make it clear that the minute, THE VERY SECOND, that our lives are formed, we are His. He knows us. He loves us before our parents even know of our existence.

Yet there is another scripture that I find equally compelling. It is a story so familiar that we skip over it. An adulterous woman brought before our Lord by the leaders of the church. They want Jesus to condemn her. His reaction? Anyone without sin feel free to throw the first rock.

And the leaders skulk off, beaten once again.

But the story doesn’t end there. He looks the woman in the eye. And he tells her that he doesn’t condemn her, either.

¹But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. ²Early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people were coming to Him; and He sat down and began to teach them.

³The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the court, ⁴they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act.

⁵“Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?”  ⁶They were saying this, testing Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground.

⁷But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”

⁸Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground.

⁹When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the court.

¹⁰Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?”

¹¹She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.”
John 8: 1-11

I don’t know what the future holds for this young mother and her unborn child. Miracles happen, and I, along with many others who have read her blog, are praying for a miracle. But should God call the little one home, how wonderful that this young mother rests in the arms of our Lord, allowing Him to comfort her.

And how wonderful that her love of and trust in God was not destroyed by those who condemn her.

Click here to read this young mother’s blog, or visit littleoneapril.blogspot.com

A few years ago I was at a football game with my husband. A woman was sitting next to me with her five year old son as well as her sister, while her husband and a friend of his were sitting a few rows in front of them. Their agreement was that the son would sit with her in the first half, and with dad in the second half. The little boy squealed and squirmed his way through the first half, and the mom was ready to pass him to dad.

At halftime, they made the exchange… but just a few minutes later, the little boy wanted his mom. He called to her, and her husband turned around and said, “He wants to sit with you.” Her response? She crossed her arms in an ‘X’ and said, “Access denied!” The little boy pouted (so did the dad!), but mom got to watch the second half.

This past weekend, as we sat at a game with our five year old, we remembered that mom’s words. We laughed about it, but we also know that if that little boy had really needed his mom, she would have dropped the ‘X’ and been there for him.

Isn’t it great to know that we have a Heavenly Father who never denies us access? He never says, “Sorry, I’m busy over in Alabama right now, but I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.” He’s there, no matter how small or large the problem.

Our God is omnipotent!

The only hard part? Reminding ourselves to go to Him! Here we have this open access to the Most Holy, and we tend to worry, fret, anything but turn to Him. We have an omnipotent, awesome God, who always listens, never turns us away, and yet we will talk to everyone about our needs… our hairdresser, our friends, our family, even complete strangers, yet won’t turn to God.

Maybe we need to open up the access on our end!

I have a friend who just can’t stop. She goes 900 miles an hour from the minute she gets up until she collapses in sleep.

The other day she commented that she has a gap of time between when she drops her children off at school and another appointment. The gap is too short to get anything done, and she feels lost.

“Not me,” I chimed.

I love those little breaks in the day. I have a couple of “secret” places around town where I can park my car, put my seat back and take a break with God. Whether it’s five minutes or an hour, I have a Bible in the car and use the time to my advantage. Sometimes I just sit and talk to God, other times I immerse myself in study. But the common thread is that I stop, with no noise, no outside interference.

“Oh, I could never do that,” my friend said. “I have to be doing something.”

But does she, or any of us, really have to? Why do we feel like each minute of each day has to be filled accomplishing something. Isn’t spending time with God accomplishing something larger than any shopping trip could?

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the Earth.”   Psalm 46:10

Be still. Stop. Know God. Acknowledge Him. He is to be exalted. Praise Him!

I believe that one of the greatest experiences a Christian can have is to enter into God’s presence. Can you believe that our God, Lord of all, Creator of everything, the Alpha and Omega, allows us to talk to Him? Us! And yet, we are so busy filling our lives with junk that we miss those opportunities, we push our quiet time with Him to the back.

If I had a nickel for every time I have said, “I’ll pray when I get in bed tonight,” and then fell asleep almost as soon as I started that prayer, I would be one rich woman!

Stop… enter into His presence… And celebrate a God who wants to talk with you!

One week ago Sarah Palin was introduced as John McCain’s running mate, much to the surprise of everyone. But that was only the beginning.

It was announced yesterday that Palin’s 17-year-old unmarried daughter, Bristol, is pregnant. She is keeping the baby, and will be marrying the father sometime in the future.

Added to this family scenario is five-month-old son, Trig, who has Down’s Syndrome.

You could see the journalists and political pundits salivating at the stories being laid at their feet. But here is the real story:

Sarah Palin and her husband, Todd, chose to have their son, despite being informed of his condition in utero. They could have taken chosen an easier path, but knew that their son was a gift from God, just like their other four children. According to various studies in the late 1990’s, more than 80% of prenatal diagnoses of Down Syndrome end in abortion.

But the Palins, staunchly pro-life, never considered the alternative. On April 18, 6-pound, 2-ounce son Trig Paxson Van Palin was born.

“We’ve both been very vocal about being pro-life,” Palin told the Associated Press, speaking of herself and her husband, Todd. “We understand that every innocent life has wonderful potential.”

The day after the birth, the Palins released the following statement: “Trig is beautiful and already adored by us. We knew through early testing he would face special challenges, and we feel privileged that God would entrust us with this gift and allow us unspeakable joy as he entered our lives. We have faith that every baby is created for good purpose and has potential to make this world a better place. We are truly blessed.”

Now, they are face the world with a pregnant teenager. Yet their answer to all of the questions is the same. Every baby is a gift from God. Yes, there will be challenges and we wouldn’t have chosen this road for our daughter. But these are our facts, we love our daughter and we will love and support her through this.

Conservatives have come out in full force, commending the family for “talking the talk and walking the walk.” No less than James Dobson of Focus on the Family has backed the Governor from Alaska. While Dobson is a proponent of mothers staying at home with their children, he has welcomed Palin’s candidacy and wholeheartedly endorsed her reaction to her daughter’s pregnancy.

“The media are already trying to spin this as evidence Gov. Palin is a ‘hypocrite,’ but all it really means is that she and her family are human,” Mr. Dobson said.

I don’t know where I stand on her candidacy, and that is not the discussion I am trying to start. I do wonder if any of this would even be an issue if a man was the candidate and the same issues were in his family. Sometimes it seems like women are expected to toe two different lines in today’s world. Supermom/wife and captain of industry.

For better or for worse, a dialogue has been opened regarding these issues. Our local tv station was on campus today interviewing female college freshmen for their opinions on the Palin family situation. My own step-daughter was interviewed, although I won’t know what she said until I watch the news at 11.

Take this opportunity to talk to your kids. Keep communication open on all fronts.

I was reading an article the other day about the freshman year of college, specifically how the year is pivotal in the life of young Christians. As you can imagine, so many begin college and quit attending church regularly, if at all.

Christian organizations have long had a presence in and around college campuses. Groups such as Campus Crusade for Christ, InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, Fellowship of Christian Athletes and others do their best to reach that age group, and have some success. Individual denominations also make the push to get college kids involved in programs.

Yet this remains a time when many turn away from church. Why?

The answers are both simple and complicated (I don’t mean that as a cop-out!). Simple, because when I think back to my own time in college, I usually chose sleeping in over getting up and going to church. Complicated, because for many it is their first taste of independence, and church can suddenly seem so traditional, i.e. boring.

Even the most faithful Christian families wrestle with this. My parents were mortified when I stopped attending church in college. They raised me to be active and faithful. And they let me know it, too!

In my own house now, my step-daughter is beginning her freshman year of college, but so far seems inclined to keep attending. I attribute that more to the fact that she is going to school locally and can continue to attend the same church with all of her friends. But she is the exception to the rule.

So what is a parent to do?

If you have a college student in the family, encourage them to get involved. Do your own homework on campus organizations that may be of interest, or a church near the university that has a strong college outreach program.

But beyond that, it is up to them. Time for us to cut the strings and rely more faithfully on prayer. The spirit of the Lord has not left them just because they left for college, or because they choose not to attend church. The seeds that you as a parent have planted over the first 18 years of life are still there.

Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

There is great comfort in these words for a parent. We pray that our children will walk with God throughout there lives, be faithful in attendance and follow His commandments. But the reality is that so many get sidetracked, at least for awhile.

But remember those words from Proverbs. Bathe your child in prayer. He or she will be blessed for it and by it.

We are bombarded with images of perceived beauty daily, virtually by the minute. “Use this cream and your skin will look younger,” the ads scream at us. “That man will love you more if you use this haircolor,” the ads insinuate. We get the message that whatever we are born with is not good enough. We need to look like the movie star of the day, buy the right clothes, fit the right size mold, and then our lives will be fulfilled.

Ouch!

These messages are aimed at our kids, too. So now, it isn’t just enough that adult women feel the pressure to fit society’s mold of beauty, but our five year olds are trying to fit the mold, too.

I recently picked up a book called, The Lolita Effect: The Media Sexualization of Young GIrls and What We Can Do About It, by M. Gigi Durham, Ph.D., (Overlook, 2008). I am just at the start, but the premise is obvious. Girls are inundated from an early age to sexualize themselves. Teeny bikinis. Booty-shaking dancing. It’s all there.

What we all need to remember… study, learn, repeat to ourselves, whatever it takes, are the old adages that our moms used to tell us: Beauty comes from within. Beauty is as beauty does.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve spent a small fortune attempting to attain that elusive “beauty.” (OK, maybe not so small of a fortune!). Physical beauty is wonderful, but it can’t be our goal. In I Peter, we read:

Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.
I Peter 3:1-7

Real beauty, inner beauty, can change the world. It sheds light where there is darkness. It brings joy in the midst of sadness. And it effects everyone around. Peter goes on to instruct Christian wives to develop their inner beauty, as their husbands will be won by their loving spirit, rather than their looks. If we live our lives developing our inner beauty, our families and friends will see Christ in us.

When we focus on the outward appearance, we become self-centered and can become vain.

For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.
I Timothy 2:10

It does not go against scripture for a woman to want to look pretty. But inner beauty must be the goal. I’ve often used the Christmas present analogy. If you have two presents that are side-by-side, one wrapped in the shiniest paper and the other in plain brown, most people will quickly open the beautifully wrapped gift. But if what is inside is ugly, or the wrong size, the gift will be meaningless. If the plain package is opened to reveal something beautiful, it will be treasured for years to come. The outside is meaningless in the long run, it’s the inside that is the treasure!

And to reference an earlier blog, having the heart of a servant will increase your beauty ten-fold (The Heart of a Servant). Nothing shines brighter to our Heavenly Father as one who humbly serves…

Talk about true beauty!

Ah, yes. It’s that time of year. Time to load up the car and hit the road for the mandatory family road trip. We’ve all done it, as children and now as adults. And as I’m sure we can all attest, you need two weeks to recover from one week of vacation!

Something about cramming the car and traveling can bring out the worst in people. Maybe it is because we are all jammed in together with no escape. Maybe it’s because there is no escape from each other. Whatever the reason, nerves are frayed and relationships tested.

My family hit Disneyworld last fall. We had looked forward to it for a year. I think by the end of the third day, we were all looking forward to getting away from each other. Between a four year old who was afraid of costumed characters, a teenager who had a cell phone connected to her ear, and a husband who felt he was personally bankrolling Disney’s next movie, it was stress from beginning to end.

And next week we will load up the car and head north to visit family. There will be more than 20 of us filling a small cottage, with a couple of campers thrown in on the lawn. We will range in age from newborn to mid-70’s, and we are guaranteed to get on each other’s nerves… so why do we do it?

Because we love them. Our families drive us crazy, and we return the favor by making them nuts. But they are a part of us, whether through birth or marriage. They may make us mad, but nobody else better pick on them, because they are family, our family. Nothing can change that.

And that is how God feels about us, but magnified ten thousand times over. We drive Him mad. We break His heart. He laughs with us and cries over us. Why?

Because we are His family, the sheep of His pasture. Nothing we can do will change His love for us, His patience with us, and His yearning to draw us closer to Him.

So the next time you are tempted to change your identity and move where no one will find you, think about God, our Father. Follow His example.

Love, as we are loved.

Summer is a busy time in churches. Yes, it’s time for that old standard, Vacation Bible School! This week I am working with a group of our four year olds, and it has been fun and exhausting all at once!

I have to admit, working with a group of four year olds for the week is not my idea of vacation anything! All of us who are working are exhausted, and as we pass each other in the hallway, we say, “only two more days,” as if to cheer each other up. But the funny thing is, we are all smiling. Not fake, phony, “I’ll smile because I am supposed to” smiles, but real ones. Why? Because we know, deep in our hearts, that we are making a difference. We know we are needed, and we know it is the right thing to do.

I remember VBS from my childhood days, and the impact it had on me. I always looked forward to VBS, because I would be with all my friends doing all the things I liked to do: playing, making crafts, singing songs, eating snacks and watching movies. Oh yes, and we had a little Bible thrown in, too.

Actually, we had a lot of Bible thrown in, I just didnt’ realize it. I was too busy making crafts to realize that they were God-centered. I was too busy singing songs to notice that they were about Jesus. I was too busy watching movies to realize that they were about the lives of some of the heroes of the Bible.

But a funny thing happened while I wasn’t realizing what was going on… I was learning! It was soaking in, even though I’m sure the teachers thought I was oblivious. I was learning about God, the Bible, all of it.

And I was learning about God’s love, too. How? Because wonderful women of the church taught VBS. Some were retired, others were moms of some of the kids. But they loved on us and taught us like we were their own. And in that love, we were feeling the love of God.

A wonderful thing happened a few years back. After my mom passed away, one of my former Sunday School and VBS teachers got in touch with me to give me her condolences. I hadn’t heard from Miss Dottie in probably 35 years! We began corresponding by email on a regular basis. She had been one of the moms who loved on me, loved on all of us, and made a difference in our lives.

Now, all these years later, I can remember how that love, the love of the women of my church, brought me to God, led me to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

I want the children of my church to grow up knowing God’s love. I want them to learn about Jesus and the Bible heroes. And someday, I hope they grow up and teach VBS, too. You see, Miss Dottie, and all those like her, don’t just influence the students in front of them. They influence the generations to come. It doesn’t start and end during this one week. It is a seed that will grow, and spread more seeds over the years.

So this week I am getting up earlier than I would like to, I’m more tired than I can imagine, and I am loving every minute of it.

And I’m pretty sure Miss Dottie would be proud!

Pictured above: The Steven Curtis Chapman family.
L-R, Will Franklin, Maria (on Steven’s lap), Steven, Shaoey,
Mary Beth, Stevey Joy, Caleb and Emily)

I can’t explain much in this world. There is so much pain and suffering everywhere. Earthquakes, tornadoes, terrorism, war. It is so easy to see it on television, but then relegate it to the back of the mind and move on. Frankly, that is probably a good thing, because it can be so overwhelming to deal with the horror and tragedy that this world can bring.

But now and then something happens that cuts a little bit close to home. Something that takes your breath away, and leaves you hollow and wondering, “Why, Lord?”

I had that feeling as I read about the tragedy that has occurred to Grammy award-winning Christian singer Steven Curtis Chapman and his family. Chapman’s youngest daughter, Maria (5), was killed in the family’s driveway on Wednesday when she was hit by a car driven by her teenage brother. The teen was driving a Toyota Land Cruiser down the driveway, where several children were playing. He apparently did not see Maria in the driveway.

The accident occurred just south of Nashville, at the Chapman home. Maria was life-flighted to Vanderbilt, where she was pronounced dead.

The Chapman family have six children, including three daughters adopted from China. Maria is the youngest. The family has given so much to so many, and were in the midst of celebrating the engagement of Emily, their oldest daughter, and the upcoming high school graduation of son, Caleb.

This is a double-tragedy for the family. Not only must they deal with the death of their beautiful daughter, but they must find some way to comfort their son. (The family has not released the name of the son involved in the accident).

How their hearts must be breaking tonight! I cannot imagine the pain of that family.

But what I do know is this. The Chapman family loves God. They know Him intimately. He led them to China to adopt, and it is no mistake that Maria is their daughter. She was meant to be their daughter before she drew her first breath on this planet. Before this pain entered their lives, God was already there, preparing to comfort and heal the Earthly pain and hurt. God was not surprised.
His love will see them through the days and weeks to come. And one glorious day, this family will be reunited at the throne of God.

Please pray for this family, and all those in this beautiful, horrible world, that all may receive peace and rest at the throne of God.

Please click on the link below to watch a lovely video of Maria and her dad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tn8ajucsXr8

This is probably going to be a pretty random blog today… kind of my rant against the world. Hang in there with me!

Non-believers, and those who would love to portray Christians in a negative light, are always on the lookout for examples to prove that we are all hypocrites.

Most recently, I have seen subtle comments made regarding the photos of Miley Cyrus, particularly the one taken by Annie Leibovitz that appeared in Vanity Fair.

In case you haven’t seen it, the photo shows Cyrus with what appears to be a satin sheet held over her chest, bare-backed, looking over her shoulder. Somewhat of a “come hither” photo, as my mom would say. There is no nudity, but it is implied.

Now, since Cyrus is a stalwart of the Disney Family (”Hannah Montana”on the Disney Channel), the media were quick to jump on the story. Oh, Disney’s sweetheart and current top-money maker is going down the Britney/Lindsay path to destruction.

Fair enough comparison, considering that path is pretty well-worn by now. And inappropriate photos which appeared online, where Cyrus is shown showing off her bra (while wearing it) added fuel to the fire, as it were.

People Magazine covered the “scandal,” alluding to the Cyrus family’s strong Christian faith… breathlessly wondering what went wrong… could she and her faith be phony? This is the same magazine that applauded the Cyrus family and their values a few short months ago.

Parents of her fans are being quoted as being “disappointed,” “saddened,” and worried about how this will effect their daughters

OK, I have a few problems with this whole thing.

First of all… we should all know by now that if we are allowing “personalities” to serve as the primary influence in our children’s lives, then we aren’t doing our jobs as parents. Sure, they will naturally want to imitate and emulate these “stars,” but our duty is to keep it in perspective for our children, and not let them become so involved that they are willing to give up their character to copy a “character.”

Second, if we want to raise morally-responsible, strong Christian children, we need to give them less Hannah Montana and more of Christ. When was the last time you had a devotional with your child? Knelt at the side of their bed at night and prayed? Went as a family to church? Those are the difference makers. Hannah Montana is here today, gone tomorrow. Christ is forever, and our children need to know that!

But here is the kicker, at least for me. I agree that the photos are inappropriate. I agree 100% that they should have never been taken, much less published. But I have seen worse. And not in Hollywood.

This past weekend my four year old daughter and I went to a dance competition. My friend had a four year old in the competition, which was for all ages and included all types of dance (ballet, jazz, tap, hip hop, show as well as solo, group, and duet and trio). Emilee was so excited, and we had a blast. But my friend warned me when one category was about to start that it might not be appropriate. I poo-pooed her. Heck, they were four and five year olds, how bad could it be?

Bad.

Very Bad.

Moves that strippers would be proud to do, in fact. We headed out of the auditorium pretty quickly, coming back when that category was over. But it turned out that creative dance instructors and parents can work questionable dance moves into any type of routine (ok, ballet seemed immune). Even tap. TAP, for goodness sake!

Now, here is the amazing part (to me, at least… and I promise I wasn’t raised in a cave).

I didn’t see very much of this suggestive kind of dance out of the older kids or young adults. In fact, it was almost entirely performed by the 4-8 year old dancers. And when they would “bust a move” the moms and dads in the audience would go wild. These children were performing very sexually suggestive moves.

I wondered how many of these same moms and dads would have their children in church the next day. If so, talk about a mixed message. If not, are these the same parents who were so “disturbed” by the Miley Cyrus photos?

Here we are, as Christians, with the greatest example of parenthood in the world, and we forget to use Him. That’s right, God. He is our Father. Our relationship with Him should be the one we use to model our relationship with our children.

A comment you hear a lot in this world is how children don’t come with an instruction book. Yes, they do… The Bible. God’s word. You may have to study it, pray over it. But can you think of a better book to lead you in parenting?

Who is setting an example for your children? And is it the right example?

For wonderful insights into Christian parenting, visit Parenting and Religion