Life as a Christian Woman

“Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you.”

Corrie Ten Boom
Christian woman who survived the Holocaust in a Nazi concentration camp

What do you do when you are faced with the undeniable truth that you have been misled, lied to, scammed?

Do you get angry? Vow revenge? Cry? Or maybe just slink away and promise yourself to be smarter next time?

I, and many others, are faced with that very situation today. Many of you may remember this column that I wrote on an unmarried pregnant woman who was facing harsh criticism from fellow Christians. Her baby had been diagnosed in utero with Trisomy 13, which would most likely bring death to her baby girl prior to birth or immediately thereafter.

This weekend “April Rose” was born. Hundreds of people stopped and prayed all weekend as we followed the updates that her friend posted. Suddenly, it all stopped.

And today comes the sad news that apparently this was all a hoax.

Many are angry, and those who had been the most vocal regarding helping this woman are being attacked themselves, even though they, too, have been lied to.  But the three young women who have led the charge to pray for this unborn child that appears to have never existed, are now asking us all to pray for the woman who perpetrated the scam.

And that, friends, is what we should all do.

I am angry, and upset. I cried over this baby girl over the weekend as it appeared life was slipping away. I wondered how her mother would be able to handle the pain of such a loss, yet rejoiced that she had been able to meet her daughter face to face. My gut reaction is to spout a few well chosen words, fling a “what goes around comes around” and get on with my life.

But that’s not what God would have me do.

For whatever reason, this woman chose to perpetrate a lie on many, many folks. But while she may not have presented herself factually, I think we can all agree that she needs prayer. Obviously, she has issues that we can only imagine. But, as Christians, we aren’t allowed to wallow in hatred. No, we must turn that other cheek and lift up those who have wronged us in prayer.

So today I am asking you to do just that. Just take a minute of time and say a prayer for “B”, as she called herself. Pray that God will heal whatever it is in her that has led her down this path. Pray for health, both mental and physical.

And pray for those that invested love and time in this woman, only to find out they had been misled. Pray that their hearts won’t harden to those who need to be loved on, but will remain open and loving.

Matthew 6:14-16
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Luke 6:37
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

⁵ “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you…
Jeremiah 1:5a

¹⁵ Did not he who made me in the womb make them?  Did not the same one form us both within our mothers?
Job 31:15

⁹ Yet you brought me out of the womb;
you made me trust in you even at my mother’s breast.
¹⁰ From birth I was cast upon you;
from my mother’s womb you have been my God.
Psalm 22: 9-10

Today I am angry. Very, very angry.

A friend recently asked me to pray for a young woman that she had heard about. This woman is pregnant, currently at 34 weeks, and the doctors have determined that her child, a girl, will most likely die in utero. Even if the baby makes it to delivery, the likelihood of survival is virtually nil.

The young mother is a Christian with a strong faith. She is broken and broken-hearted, but knows that God is with her and will carry her through this, and stands ready to take her daughter to live with Him.  The mother is active in her church.

And unmarried.

She became pregnant outside of marriage. But this isn’t why I’m angry. I’m angry at what a few of her fellow Christians, her brothers and sisters in Christ, have put her through.

When she found out she was pregnant, more that a few suggested… strongly… that she get an abortion.  When it was determined that her baby would not survive, several suggested that this was God’s way of punishing her.

But she has persevered. And her faith has grown as she has worked her way through this crisis. I would like to excerpt some of her words regarding her feelings, as they are so pure and heartfelt, I could never improve upon them:

We all make mistakes, but God doesn’t. And like I have previously said, I do not believe that God punishes people with babies. I also do not think the answer is ever abortion.

We can’t be “pro-life” but simultaneously shun the girl in the church pew who has repented, but yes, is pregnant (I would go as far as saying we can’t even shun the unrepentive girl in the church pew who is pregnant…). I believe that if we are “pro-life” then we need to make more of an effort to impart life as a core value among our friends, community, churches, etc.

And while I say this being in this situation, I believe it needs to be said regardless. We (meaning specifically the body of Christ/sisters in Christ/fellow mothers/pro-life individuals) need to let those carrying the life know they are loved. The personal discouragement that I felt from “friends” and some within my “church community” this past year was enough to (thankfully, only) almost move me in a different direction. I strongly believe that when a girl is alone, or an unmarried couple is struggling with an unplanned pregnancy - they need support, not judgement. We need to be willing to set aside our own judgements and simply meet them where they are at, not make them feel worse off, less forgiven, more judged than they already feel from within.
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In short, we can’t claim to be “pro-life,” and then be the first to throw the stone at the pregnant woman/unmarried couple facing this kind of situation. Life won’t be valued and had, if the life-carrier (aka the mom), feels no support.

It is true, we make our own choices. I made mine. It is also true that God doesn’t wait until the “crisis” (yes, I did consider my pregnancy such) to warn us. God speaks the truth and His intentions are always clear. He wants to save us from our sins. He tells us as it is, explains how sin will hurt us, and then He offers us a better way. I knew having sex could mean pregnancy. I didn’t listen to Him and I did find myself in crisis. What a lesson in the misunderstanding of the severity of consequences and the power of prevention, right?
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But even in the crisis God is there. All it ever requires is us going back to Him and/or repenting. I think as Christians, we also need to be there. And while I say all of this in regards to being pro-life and pregnant, I think the lesson can be applied across the board. Who are we to judge? Who are we to shun? Who are we to gossip about? When our sin is right there alongside the next persons? Visible, invisible, big, small; sin is sin.
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Truth be told, I am completely incapable of living this life without completing falling on my face, but praise God I have a Savior who died for me. The very blood I made Him bleed, He used to cover me, and you. All our sins. All of them. So… “Knocked up?” … No, just a sinner. Saved by grace. Praise Him.

The scriptures that I included at the top of this post make it clear that the minute, THE VERY SECOND, that our lives are formed, we are His. He knows us. He loves us before our parents even know of our existence.

Yet there is another scripture that I find equally compelling. It is a story so familiar that we skip over it. An adulterous woman brought before our Lord by the leaders of the church. They want Jesus to condemn her. His reaction? Anyone without sin feel free to throw the first rock.

And the leaders skulk off, beaten once again.

But the story doesn’t end there. He looks the woman in the eye. And he tells her that he doesn’t condemn her, either.

¹But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. ²Early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people were coming to Him; and He sat down and began to teach them.

³The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the court, ⁴they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act.

⁵“Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?”  ⁶They were saying this, testing Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground.

⁷But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”

⁸Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground.

⁹When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the court.

¹⁰Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?”

¹¹She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.”
John 8: 1-11

I don’t know what the future holds for this young mother and her unborn child. Miracles happen, and I, along with many others who have read her blog, are praying for a miracle. But should God call the little one home, how wonderful that this young mother rests in the arms of our Lord, allowing Him to comfort her.

And how wonderful that her love of and trust in God was not destroyed by those who condemn her.

Click here to read this young mother’s blog, or visit littleoneapril.blogspot.com

One week ago Sarah Palin was introduced as John McCain’s running mate, much to the surprise of everyone. But that was only the beginning.

It was announced yesterday that Palin’s 17-year-old unmarried daughter, Bristol, is pregnant. She is keeping the baby, and will be marrying the father sometime in the future.

Added to this family scenario is five-month-old son, Trig, who has Down’s Syndrome.

You could see the journalists and political pundits salivating at the stories being laid at their feet. But here is the real story:

Sarah Palin and her husband, Todd, chose to have their son, despite being informed of his condition in utero. They could have taken chosen an easier path, but knew that their son was a gift from God, just like their other four children. According to various studies in the late 1990’s, more than 80% of prenatal diagnoses of Down Syndrome end in abortion.

But the Palins, staunchly pro-life, never considered the alternative. On April 18, 6-pound, 2-ounce son Trig Paxson Van Palin was born.

“We’ve both been very vocal about being pro-life,” Palin told the Associated Press, speaking of herself and her husband, Todd. “We understand that every innocent life has wonderful potential.”

The day after the birth, the Palins released the following statement: “Trig is beautiful and already adored by us. We knew through early testing he would face special challenges, and we feel privileged that God would entrust us with this gift and allow us unspeakable joy as he entered our lives. We have faith that every baby is created for good purpose and has potential to make this world a better place. We are truly blessed.”

Now, they are face the world with a pregnant teenager. Yet their answer to all of the questions is the same. Every baby is a gift from God. Yes, there will be challenges and we wouldn’t have chosen this road for our daughter. But these are our facts, we love our daughter and we will love and support her through this.

Conservatives have come out in full force, commending the family for “talking the talk and walking the walk.” No less than James Dobson of Focus on the Family has backed the Governor from Alaska. While Dobson is a proponent of mothers staying at home with their children, he has welcomed Palin’s candidacy and wholeheartedly endorsed her reaction to her daughter’s pregnancy.

“The media are already trying to spin this as evidence Gov. Palin is a ‘hypocrite,’ but all it really means is that she and her family are human,” Mr. Dobson said.

I don’t know where I stand on her candidacy, and that is not the discussion I am trying to start. I do wonder if any of this would even be an issue if a man was the candidate and the same issues were in his family. Sometimes it seems like women are expected to toe two different lines in today’s world. Supermom/wife and captain of industry.

For better or for worse, a dialogue has been opened regarding these issues. Our local tv station was on campus today interviewing female college freshmen for their opinions on the Palin family situation. My own step-daughter was interviewed, although I won’t know what she said until I watch the news at 11.

Take this opportunity to talk to your kids. Keep communication open on all fronts.

Well, it has been a rough couple of weeks as you can probably tell by the drop in the frequency of posts here. My shoulder is still giving me problems, and I just had an MRI done today. It will be another couple of weeks before I find out what the treatment is going to be or exactly what is wrong with it. Thank you for bearing with me through this painful time. Some wonderful people have come forward to write guest posts for both this site and my other at Her Daily News. Over on that blog, Beth from Astrology Explored has been sharing her extensive experience in the corporate world with a series of posts on handling problems and issues that come up in the work place. Please visit and read her posts, and leave her a “thank you” comment for helping me out this week.

While I have been spending much less time on the computer, my spam comments began to pile up for this site. I finally started going through them the other day to make sure a legitimate comment had not been blocked. I must say I am appalled. Probably 98% of the comments stopped by the Akismet spam filter are pornographic in nature. It made me wonder, with the easy access to porn now through the Internet, when do we teach our children, and especially our sons, about it?

The “sex talk” and a talk about pornography are, to me, two separate issues. In the sex talk, I believe we should teach our children about the basics and the biology, but also about God’s intended plan. Our children should be taught that in the sanctity of marriage, sexual relations with our spouses are a blessing from God that join a man and a woman physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Sex is not a bad thing, and our children need to know that marital sex is a healthy part of a marriage.

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Jaime from Fiction Scribe offered to write this post on choosing appropriate video games. As a Christian mother, I know it can be hard to find games that are appropriate both for the age of the child and religious beliefs. I know next to nothing about games, except the ones my son plays, so I asked someone more knowledgeable to give some advice. Jaime makes some good points, and hopefully her tips will make your game-choosing a little easier.

The Christian Gamer

The Christian Gamer. In this day and age, can there really be such a thing? Sure there are a few Christian games out there, but will they keep your child entertained like mainstream games will?

Let’s not worry about that for now.

Knowing what games are appropriate for your children can be a hard subject for any parent, but the Christian parent has it even a bit harder. Here are some quick tips about video games that will help you in deciding what’s appropriate for your child.

• Pay attention to the ratings on the game. They will usually be in black and white and in one corner of the game box. If you are unfamiliar with what the ratings mean, check with a sales person.

• Remember that the ratings are not the be all and end all. Use them as a first factor in your research, but not the determining factor.

• Try to go to smaller games stores. Sales people in those types of stores (instead of stores like Wal-Mart) are more likely to have played the game you’re looking at or at least have played something similar. It’s not bad to do your research, and most salespeople should be more than happy to show off their game knowledge.

• Read the book. Each and every game should come with a book introducing how to set up the gaming system and about the game. Some (mostly RPGs – Role Playing Games) will even give a prologue-like introduction. This book will give you clues to what the game is about, the themes involved, and just what your child will be doing in the game.

• If you’re looking for some safe starter games and games you can play with your child, there are still board games (in video game form) like chess and monopoly out there. However, be careful because there are also a lot of gambling games out there and you need to pay attention.

• Some of the most popular games out there are RPGs – Role Playing Games. Your child gets the opportunity to control one or many characters in an often complex story line involving love, hate, and your other basic soap opera components.

• Know where you draw the line. Where do you stand? Do you not mind shooting as long as it’s not shooting other people, or do you not want shooting at all? Do you not mind fighting as long as cartoon characters are doing it? You need to determine what your lines are before you get started because a lot of games sit on the fence in those regards.

• Finally, remember to check in on your child’s game playing. Just because it started innocently doesn’t mean your child can’t find cheat codes and easter eggs (special codes to make funny things happen in the game) online to make their game play more…interesting.

I recommend The Sims games (not the expansion packs for younger gamers) like The Sims Family, Sim City, Sim Hotel, etc because they can encourage you to learn time management (work, play, etc), money management, and other skills.

As for games that involve violence but not on a human-to-human scale, I recommend games like Spyro, Sonic, Zelda, Mario (like Mario cart would appeal a lot to young boys who will get out the play-fight urges without a shoot-’em-up game), and Rayman. Spyro and Zelda especially can encourage your child’s problem solving skills, as many of them involve puzzles of different kinds. I know a lot of puzzle-type games in my youth put me on to logic puzzles, number and word crossword puzzles.

In the end, know where you stand and try to find someone who knows what they are talking about to quiz about the games. Like I said, most gamers like to show off their knowledge and will be happy to help.

christian, christian video games, child-appropriate games, christian gamer, christian mothers

The one statement contained in the Gospel account that often gives women pause is His words, “Woman, what have I to do with thee?” A mother’s first instinct is to think, “Did Jesus just backtalk Mary?!” Jesus’ first miracle was to turn water into wine at a wedding feast. Compared to raising Lazarus from the dead, this may seem rather banal. It was a miracle, though, as no alchemist has ever been able to duplicate it. This is also a time when Jesus asserts his independence from his earthly mother, Mary. This act, more than the wine itself, is central to the story.

“And when they ran out of wine, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.” Jesus said to her, “Woman, what have I to do with thee? Mine hour is not yet come.” (John 2:3-4 KJV).

At first glance, this seems like the ancient equivalent of “No! I won’t do it!” What mother can hear those words and not immediately react in anger? But Mary didn’t react that way in John’s account. She simply told the servants, “Whatever He says to you, do it.” (John 2:5). Mary knew it was the time for Jesus to begin his ministry of miracles and prove his lineage as God’s Son. Were His words to her backtalking, or the natural progression of any male asserting his own independence from his mother?

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While some churches continue to debate whether women should work, the reality is that a large percentage of Christian women do have jobs or are searching for jobs. Maybe your husband’s income isn’t enough, or maybe you are a Christian single mother trying to support your family alone. Whatever your case, there are job search programs and support for working Christian women.

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The most frightening statement of the century: “The negative influence of religion and its subsequent contribution to child abuse from religious beliefs and practices requires us to ask whether organized religion is an institution that needs limits set on how early it should have access to children.” (Nasiretti)

The Center for Inquiry has gained cosultative status at the U.N. They will now use that status to promote their stated mission as “A global federation committed to…secularism.” According to LifeSite.net, the chairman for the Center for Inquiry’s India chapter, Innaiah Nasiretti, stated religious influence is a “severe shortcoming in the global campaign to protect children” and a contributor to child abuse saying, “In one form or another, all religions violate the rights of children.” The Council for Secular Humanism is part of this organization and bills itself as “North America’s leading organization for non-religious people.”

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If you are single mother, you always have a part of your mind that lies in wait for the question. Those questions about fathers, or the lack of, are a natural part of a child’s curiosity about his or her family. Christian single mothers often have the support of men in their churches to act as role models and examples of a different kind of family. But what about on Father’s Day (Sunday, June 17, 2007)?

Father’s Day is of particular concern because it celebrates something, or someone, that is missing in one-quarter of American households. These single mothers face the decision each year of whether to attend church that Sunday. Churches usually place a heavy emphasis on holidays such as Father’s Day and Mother’s Day, and the music, sermon, and Sunday school activities reflect that fact. So do you take your child to church and risk them reacting badly to not having a father? Do you stay home and try to distract them? Do you talk about it or not talk about it?

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