Life as a Christian Woman

Sometimes I just feel so darn inadequate.

Today I was speaking with a dear friend who is going through major upheaval in her life. Her faith remains strong, but her heart aches. For more than an hour I tried to find the right things to say, things that would lift her spirits. Instead I kept saying, “It will get better.”

Duh. Bet that helped a bunch!

When we got off the phone, I just sat there. Why couldn’t I come up with something, ANYTHING, that would help? Why did it seem that, when my friend needed me most, my brain decided to take a leave of absence?

I turned to my Bible. And I found great comfort in my inadequacy there.

One of the greatest leaders in the Bible, Moses, struggled with feelings of inadequacy.

“Now go, for I am sending you to Pharaoh. You will lead my people, the Israelites, out of Egypt.” “But who am I to appear before Pharaoh?” Moses asked God. “How can you expect me to lead the Israelites out of Egypt?” Exodus 3:1-22

Moses felt unprepared to take on the task that God had uniquely chosen for him. He was to speak in front of Pharaoh, yet was a poor speaker. He was to lead a nation out of captivity, yet he was overwhelmed by the task.

But God worked through Moses. He went before Pharaoh, he spoke as the leader he was, and he led the Israelites from slavery to the Promised Land. God worked through Moses inadequacy to rescue His people!

We don’t have to be perfectly prepared for every task. In fact, it goes against our humanness. But God does not ask us to be perfect, He only asks us to obey, to listen, to allow ourselves to be used by Him.

He will use our inadequacies to His strength. He will provide words where we have none, if we will only allow Him to work through us, to His glory.

I don’t know if my mumblings and ramblings helped my friend. But I pray that in my woefully lacking words, God spoke to her. After all, His words are the words of life!

What do you do when your Christian spirit goes numb, disappears? I don’t mean a crisis of faith. Your faith is still strong, but something is missing in your soul.

It happens to all of us. It sneaks up on us and catches us unaware. Suddenly we realize that we feel apart from God, despite our constant search for Him.

Mother Teresa, who spent her life in God’s service, felt separated from Him so deeply that she wrote her mentors letters that begged for answers. She felt lonely and alone. It appears from her letters that her period of pain began shortly after her mission in the slums of Calcutta in 1948 (a mission she had begged, pleaded and nagged her superiors for over a period of years). As she dove into the underbelly of the world, a darkness overtook her spirit, a darkness that lasted through most of her ministry

In a book entitled Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light (Doubleday), she expresses through letters to her superiors, confessors and spiritual confidants that she is suffering from God’s perceived silence.

Jesus has a very special love for you. As for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great that I look and do not see, listen and do not hear.
— Mother Teresa to the Rev. Michael Van Der Peet, September 1979

Many non-Christians have called Mother Teresa’s agony proof that there is no god. But note that she says that Jesus has a special love for the reverend. She is not denying in any way God’s existence, but longs to hear His voice.

A feeling a separation from God does not negate His existence. The Catholic Church has long had a term for this period in one’s faith-walk, called the “Dark Night of the Soul.” St. John of the Cross coined the phrase in the 1500’s, and it describes a period of darkness within the faith… not from outside, not from unbelief, but from within the faith.

We all face this at one time or another, on varying scales. In my own period of doubt and hurt, I struggled to see the light that Christ brings us. The light was still there, but my vision was blocked. A friend of mine likes to say that when we feel set apart from God, we need to check our compass and make sure that we are not so enmeshed in the horizontal (this world) that we are missing the vertical (God in His Heaven).

We are human. We will have these “dark nights.” But even in our darkest hour, our Holy Father is there. Even when we feel empty and alone, the Holy Spirit is in us. When we become so mired in the sins of the world that we feel there is no way out, Christ is sitting by the Father, interceding on our behalf.

The final words of the Great Commission, from Matthew 28:16-20, says it all, and are the words where we find our comfort in these times:

And lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.
Matthew 28:20b

We hear an awful lot about forgiveness, don’t we? We are well-versed in turning the other cheek, the parable that Christ told to demonstrate forgiving our brothers.

But I tell you not to resist an evildoer. On the contrary, whoever slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other to him as well. Matthew 5:39

But there is another side to the business of forgiveness… the art of asking for forgiveness.

Recently I became aware of a situation where someone repeated something that wasn’t true, without checking it out first, despite the fact that there was a professional relationship between those concerned. It was put in writing and passed around. Serious damage was done to many people, and reputations were on the line. When the gossiper (and that is what he was) found out that his unchecked facts were wrong, he basically said, “Oops” and let it end there. He has not apologized to the many people that he wronged. It would be an act of contrition, one that is desperately needed. There are hurt feelings, damaged hearts, wounded relationships. When repeatedly approached about his need to go to those he wronged, he has claimed that he has already “moved on.” But those he hurt are left wondering “why?”

Admitting that you have done something wrong is hard. Admitting it to the person that you have wronged is even harder. Asking their forgiveness is darn near impossible! After all, it involves humbling yourself to someone. Humbling ourselves to God is easy, expected, understood. Doing it before a fellow servant of God is much, much harder. And yet, we are called to do just that. If we don’t we are out of favor with God, outside the parameters of His teachings.

We are vain individuals. We don’t like to embarrass ourselves, or look weak. And somehow in our world, admitting that you are wrong has become a symbol of weakness.

A few weeks ago I wrote about confronting someone Biblically, according to Matthew 18 (Life as a Christian Woman, May 30). Earlier in Matthew, we are told that that if we are in a quarrel with someone, if our brother or sister has something against us, we must go to them immediately and seek reconciliation.

There is no easy way to understand evil. Even our guidebook for life, the Bible, can’t begin to explain the evils that we can do to each other, that Satan inflicts on this world.

Sunday there was a shooting at a church. The sanctuary at the Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church in Knoxville, Tenn., was packed with more than 200 folks, there to see a children’s production of the musical “Annie.” Two people were killed: 60-year-old Greg McKendry, and 61-year-old Linda Kraeger. Seven others were injured.

The day began innocently. The production was taking the place of the normal service, and was the “grand finale” to a summer workshop at the church. At 10:18, 58-year-old Jim David Adkisson of nearby Powell entered the sanctuary and began firing his 12-gauge shotgun. Eyewitness accounts say that he apparently didn’t attempt to shoot the children, as he walked past a staging area where kids were gathered, but took aim at adults in the pews.

Accounts say that McKendry stood in front of the shooter and took a bullet, attempting to protect others. His 16-year old foster son, Taylor Bessette, who was a member of the cast, said he wants to make sure that everyone knows that his stepdad died a hero. (watch teen describe foster dad as hero)

Members sprung into action and tackled the shooter, binding him with belts. Witnesses say that children were within just a couple of feet of the killer.

My first thoughts jump straight to the children. How will they get through this? I can’t imagine the horror they feel, the things they witnessed in a place that is supposed to be safe. One small girl is described as being “covered in blood.” How does a parent explain what happened in a way to make the child feel safe again?

And I think about the rest of us. This is an ugly illustration of how we are not safe from evil anywhere. Evil will seek us out, Satan wants to do us harm, and will use any agent to push through an agenda, his agenda, of sowing the world with fear, hatred and doubt. I’m sure at this moment Satan is relishing the people who are saying, “How could any God let this happen?” He is laughing at us, as he marches on in his battle against God.

But here is the truth. He will not win. Our God is an awesome God! Through this sadness, this evil, He is there. He preceded this event, and He will be there when the cameras leave. He will give the parents the right words, if only they will ask. He will be a comfort to the children.

We must hang on! We must cling to God, no matter what.

I don’t know much about Unitarian Universalism. The Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church describes itself as promoting freedom of expression, tolerance, reason, the search for truth and the dignity of each human being. According to the church’s website,

“TVUUC has a long and rich history of taking stands for social justice. Since the 1950s, our congregation has worked for desegregation, racial harmony, fair wages, women’s rights and gay rights.”

Don’t try to make sense of the attack… there is no sense to be made. It was a violent attack against a congregation that promotes peace and equality.

At this point, there is no known connection between the church and Adkisson. The Church is not close to his home, just over 12 miles away. There are many churches between Adkisson’s home and the church. What made him choose this one?

Adkisson is being held on a $1 million bond.

All that we can do at this point is pray… pray for the families of those who were killed. Pray for those who are injured. Pray for the children who witnessed this horrible tragedy.

And pray for Jim David Adkisson. This agent of evil is a child of God. Pray for healing of his soul, of whatever hurt drove him to commit this heinous crime. He is a child of God. He deserves our prayers.

When my husband and I were first dating, I was telling him a story about the time some friends of mine gave me a gift certificate to bungee jump. Before I could get to the part about how I chickened out, his eyes got big and he said, “You bungee jumped? That is so cool!” Suddenly, it seemed easier to let this guy that I liked be impressed by something that I had never done than tell him the truth. No harm in it, right?

A few weeks later I was telling him about the summer I had the opportunity to go to the Soviet Union. Once again, before I finished the story that my dad wouldn’t let me go, he was so impressed I decided to let him think I had gone. What could it hurt?

Jump ahead a few years. We are married now. We are on a ski trip, my first time to try it. We take the lift to the top of the Bunny Hill (which looked like Mt. Everest to me). I sit down at the top, take off my skis, and beg hubby to let me walk down the mountain. I’m terrified! He is amazed, and says, “I can’t believe you are afraid, after all, you’ve bungee jumped!”

Through my tears, I say “I’ve never bungee jumped… and I’ve never been to Russia, either!

Several important lessons were learned that day… first, my husband learned to wait until I am completely done with a story before jumping to conclusions. And I learned that sooner or later a lie will catch up with you… And I also learned that my husband can be very forgiving!

Honesty breeds trust. When a lie is exposed, there is a separation that occurs, a wall of mistrust that is built. If one spouse can’t trust the other, or if a child can’t trust a parent, the family will break down. When leaders lie to their people, society breaks down. Honesty should be the cornerstone on which our lives are built.

One of the harder truths to understand is that it is better to be honest and be rejected than to lie and find acceptance. We should be honest and straightforward with those around us. As Christians, we must live as far above reproach as possible. Half-truths and omissions accomplish nothing in the end, except to separate us from God and damage our witness to others.

Additionally, trying to live a lie that you have built is impossible. You must constantly guard against the truth slipping out, and to keep one lie up you inevitably have to tell a few more. It is a vicious circle that eventually collapses like a house of cards.

My husband and I laugh about the “Bungee jumping in Russia” story now. But what if this lie had somehow put doubt into his heart about my honesty? It could have destroyed our marriage, crushed our family.

Honesty isn’t just the best policy, it’s the only policy that a Christian can afford.

How many times have we, as Christians, heard the argument, “You think you’re better than I am because you’re a Christian!” Or how about, “Christians are such hypocrites, they think they are better than the rest of the world.

Hogwash, we say, then respond with a bumper sticker saying: Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven.

But we tend to lump non-believers into a category of evil that may or may not apply. We demonize those who haven’t accepted Christ. Heck, sometimes we even demonize those who have accepted Christ but belong to another denomination. “They need us to save them from their evilness!” we proclaim.

We act as if we are doing them a favor by telling them of our Lord and Savior!

But a book by Timothy Keller, entitled “The Reason for God: Faith in an Age of Skepticism” makes some wonderfully valid points that all Christians should keep in mind.

God’s grace does not come to people who morally outperform others, but to those who admit their failure to perform and who acknowledge their need for a Savior.
Christians, then, should expect to find nonbelievers who are much nicer, kinder, wiser, and better than they are. Why? Christian believers are not accepted by God because of their moral performance, wisdom, or virtue, but because of Christ’s work on their behalf
Timothy Keller, The Reason for God: Faith in an Age of Skepticism, Dutton Press 2008

Don’t get me wrong here. Good deeds are a very important part of the Christian walk. We are called to service, following in the footsteps of Jesus. We are servants to Him and to His people. But we don’t hold the monopoly on “goodness.”

Be assured… we must do our best to present the Living Gospel to a fallen world. We must look to lead others to Christ, to witness when and where we are called.

But go in grace and peace. We are doing battle with Satan, but not with those whom we wish to save from his grasp. We are every bit as good/evil, nice/mean, loud/soft, as those we want to lead to the Lord.

Enter into the lives of those who need to learn of Jesus with prayer, humbleness and humility… just as the Savior entered our lives in this world.

I’m frustrated… very, very frustrated. Someone is trying to set me apart, make me question my faith and my road to God. I feel under fire, angry, defensive, and frustrated.

I have never understood why Christians feel the need to belittle other Christians. This “my theology is better than your theology” attitude gets none of us anywhere. It hurts us to fight against each other, and yet we do it so well!

I have a friend who seems to enjoy making others doubt their own beliefs, even though this person is an active Christian. If one disagrees, or questions, then somehow the questioner is wrong, or worse - dumb for not knowing in the first place.

This person is beginning to have a negative effect on me. Times that I am supposed to be in worship, now I’m angry and my mind is nowhere near where it needs to be to spend time with God. I’ve prayed for peace, for understanding, and yet I get angrier and more upset each time I am involved with this person.

So what do I do?

We are commanded as Christians to live in unity, to present a fellowship of Christian love to others. In Phillippians 2:1-2, Paul says “Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and sympathetic? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one heart.”

Hard words to live up to! But in the midst of our frustration, we must first and foremost remain obedient to God. When faced with those that bring out the worst in us, we should look for ways to act against it, and trust God to lead us in our efforts.

We should also avoid making big decisions in the midst of our frustration. Wrong assumptions can lead to wrong conclusions. Take time to sit back, calm down and review the situation. Is it as bad as you think? Or are you being overly sensitive? See if some greater good could come from the situation, don’t assume the worst.

Make sure that you are not the source of frustration in others. I have to look inward to see if I am egging this whole thing on, what is my part in this situation. Seldom is anything all one person’s fault. Often, if we look deep within ourselves, we will see that we are complicit in the problem.

Finally, if the situation is untenable, then remove yourself from it. Don’t destroy the group that is in place just to satisfy your own means to an end. Perhaps the greater good is that God is making you unhappy where you are so he can plant you elsewhere, where your gifts and talents are needed.

I don’t know yet what I am going to do. I need to pray, reflect, and ask God for His direction, for His discernment. It is a hard lesson, and we all must open our hearts to hear from God in these times. But His words, and His words only, will lead us where we need to be to follow Him.

Isolation.

The word conjures up some ugly pictures. Prisoners put in isolation because of bad behavior. The ill put in isolation wards because of their illness and the risk to others.

No, isolation is not a happy word. We were born to be around people, to be a community. To be separated from that community can be painful and lead to depression and anxiety.

But isolation from God? Nothing could be more painful, more gut-wrenching, than to feel that you are not connected to the Lord. But it is at these times that we can reach out to God and realize that we can’t be isolated from Him if we seek Him. He never leaves us, we isolate ourselves from Him!

From the depths of despair, O Lord, I call for your help.
Psalm 130:1

The psalmist cried out to God at his lowest point, and God answered. When we feel lonely, sad, hopeless, He is there to befriend us, cheer us, and give us life.

But what about isolation from God that occurs due to sin? We feel ashamed to enter His presence, but this is when He has His arms open to receive us. He does not abandon us! Our sin may cut us off from God, but He stands ready to forgive us when we repent of our sins. To restore our relationship with God we must simply confess our sin to Him, obey Him, and remain in fellowship with Him.

Finally, we must all do our best to avoid spiritual isolation. We are a community of faith, bound by one God and one Savior. We must seek each other out by whatever means necessary, to join in fellowship of spirit. We cannot isolate ourselves from others of faith! That defeats the purpose of God’s community.

For me, the internet is a wonderful thing. I can fellowship with other Christians right here in front of my computer. For some Christians, that may be the only way that they can fellowship. Some of us have the ability to go to church weekly and fellowship, to meet in small groups. Others can’t, whether due to health or other reasons. But God will provide a means if we will only listen to Him, obey Him. He will plant other Christians in our path, whether they are next door or a continent away.

God doesn’t want us to be isolated from Him or other Christians. Reach out. He is there.

All of us have had the empty feeling of loneliness. Even in a crowd, you can feel lonely. And loneliness can bring on sadness and depression, a feeling of hopelessness.

But we aren’t hopeless, and God shows us what to do in those times of isolation. The truth is, as easily as we become isolated and alone, we can reach out to others and begin to come out again.

Let’s look at loneliness through the perspective of the Bible.

First, when you begin feeling alone, separate and apart, reach out to other Christians. Jesus used the parable of the mustard seed to show that Christianity would grow from a small, insignificant number to a worldwide kingdom.

Jesus asked, “How can I describe the Kingdom of God? What story should I use to illustrate it? It is like a tiny mustard seed. Though this is one of the smallest of seeds, it grows to become one of the largest of plants, with long branches where birds can come and find shelter.”

Mark 4:30-32

Reach out to His kingdom on earth, your brothers and sisters in Christ, and let them come to you and lift you up in prayer.

Second, if we aren’t careful, loneliness can morph into self-pity. Self-pity works against any good you may be doing. While we all have those times of “why,” in its extreme self-pity is self-indulgent and nothing good can come of it. Instead of “poor me,” pray for an attitude adjustment.

Third, remember that God is with us, so we can never really be alone. Feeling lonely? Talk to God. Speak out loud, just as if He is in the room with you… because He is! We are filled with God’s Holy Spirit and love. Who can truly be lonely under those circumstances!

Finally, one of the best things you can do when you are lonely is serve others who are lonely, forgotten. Visit an elderly church member, have a prayer time with a shut-in, volunteer to visit members of your church or parish who are hospitalized. Seeing the joy that your visit brings is enough to lighten your soul.

We are an egotistical, self-satisfied society. Most people would rather cut off their arms than reach out to others. But as Christians, we are called to reach out to others… to both serve and be served in return.

So let those around you know that you need them. It is a sign of strength and resilience to be able to let others in when you need them, not a sign of weakness.

And never forget the Great Commission:

And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.

(Matthew 28:18-20)

Have you ever been trying to download something on your computer, and that silly little ball just keeps spinning and spinning while you wait for your page to come up?

That’s been happening a lot at this site the past few days. For whatever reason, the parent site has been experiencing trouble, which meant most of you couldn’t download the page, and I couldn’t post new columns.

But as I sat there waiting each time I tried to log in, I got to thinking. You see, waiting is old hat to a Christian. Our faith is based on waiting.

When we pray, we wait for a response. It may take as little as a few minutes, or it may take years for God to respond. After all it is in His time, not ours, and sometimes the answer may be “Yes” and sometimes “No.” And sometimes the answer is, “Not yet.” We ask, and then wait.

We wait to see where He will lead us in our path of life. Will we marry and have a family? Will we serve in the mission field? We watch, and we wait.

And we wait for the glorious day when Jesus returns. The day He takes us all to live eternally with the Father. We anticipate, and we wait.

Christian waiting serves so many purposes. It prepares us to have our real needs met. Psalm 40:1 says, “I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and He turned to me and heard my cry.”

When we cry out to the Lord, whether in sorrow or pain, He hears us. He allows us the pain. It will cause us to grow, to lean on Him more heavily, to depend on Him to fill us so that He can lead us where He needs us, not where we want to be.

God doesn’t just have a vision for our lives, He knows our lives. He will use all the adversity to our benefit and to His glory.

But we want our solutions now. We want the pain to end now. We don’t have the vision. It is hard for us to think beyond the moment, much less far into the future. But God calls for us to be patient, to trust Him. He longs for us to turn our pain and hurt over to Him in prayer, to trust Him with it. He yearns for us to allow Him to comfort us.

In our rush to fix it, in our impatience, we fail to see His big picture, to see the glory that may come out of a sad, horrible, heartbreaking situation.

But it will only be in God’s time, so be patient. Be willing to wait, to see where He will lead. God will never, never fail you.

All He asks is that you wait for Him.

We all have roadblocks that pop up. These roadblocks, placed strategically by Satan, can be anything, but all carry the same purpose… to keep us from following God as He wants us to.

I used to think that roadblocks were very obvious things… drugs, pre-marital or extra-marital sex, cursing, killing, basically the 10 commandments.

But I have started to see that anything can be a roadblock, if it blocks our path to truly following Christ, or keeps us from using the gifts that He has given us. And what may be a roadblock to one person, may not be to another.

Let me give you an example from my own life. I am a big college football fan, and love to go to games and scream for my team. I have also been blessed with the gift of singing. I have always been in choirs and sung for my Lord, from an early age. But Saturdays in the fall had started to take away from Sundays. I would yell and scream so much that I wouldn’t be able to sing on Sunday, which was making it impossible to use the gift that God had given me. It got so bad that at one point I lost my voice for three months! It made me sit back and reevaluate what was supposed to be front and center in my life. Thankfully, my voice came back and I have learned to enjoy the games without yelling (I leave that part to my husband now!).

You see, many things can keep us from fully following God. A single woman may not like to go to church alone, so therefore she does not follow the call to fellowship with other Christians. A married woman may not want to attend without her husband, or may just be too tired at the end of a long week.

A mom may be so busy that she forgets to take time for the Lord in study and prayer. An employee may be so concerned with toeing the line that she puts her “light under a bushel” so as not to “offend” others.

You see, there are many things that can come between you and worship, or using your talents. It is up to each of us to make sure that we plow through the roadblocks and into a deeper communion with God.

Many of you have commented on the blog I did regarding Adam Race, the 13 year old autistic boy in Minnesota who’s church took out a restraining order to keep him from attending services there (Church takes out restraining order against family in Minnesota). You may remember that The Church of St. Joseph argues that Adam, who stands over six feet tall and weighs more than 225 pounds, presents a danger to others and has had to be restrained by his parents. In court papers, The Rev. Daniel Walz claims that Adam has hit a child and nearly knocked over elderly parishioners, has spit and urinated in the church.

Carol Race denies the allegations. “He’s never actually injured anyone,” she said. “He’s never knocked down anyone. He’s never urinated on anyone or spit on anyone.”

Carol Race will appear in court today (June 2) for violating the restraining order. She contends that, as Catholics, it is a sin for her family to not attend Mass on Sundays and every holy day of obligation. When the church offered a video feed to the basement, the Race family refused, saying that would not fulfill their obligation of attending mass.

Others have taken up the cause of the Race family. The Rupps, a family from St. Paul who has an autistic daughter, made the drive to St. Joseph’s on Memorial Day weekend, and sat in the pew where the Races normally sit, in a show of support for the family.

A lay mediator is scheduled to meet with church officials and the family on Wednesday, in what has become a very contentious battle. On the one hand, it can be said that no one should be denied attending church. But on the other hand, members have the right to expect to be safe when they attend. Many Christians face health reasons that keep them from attending mass… that does not preclude them from heaven. The service can be brought to them, or other arrangements can be made for observance of the Eucharist. There are provisions for those who cannot attend mass.

I will continue to provide follow-ups as they arise to this story that has touched so many in different ways. But let’s all be praying that this situation will be worked out without further animosity between the two groups, and that, in the end, God will be praised.

And please remember, beyond the sound bites and headlines, there are people on both sides who are both hurting and looking for answers.

I encourage you to click the following link for an interesting look at both viewpoints. The first is a letter from a priest who knows the mother, Carol Race, while the second is from a mother who also has a severely autistic child. Both opinions are heartfelt and informative.

Two informed viewpoints on the situation

We women can take guilt and turn it into an art form. Working moms feel guilt for not being attentive enough to their kids, while stay-at-home moms feel guilty for paying too much attention and possibly spoiling their kids. Wives can feel guilty for eating out too much (I’m “guilty” of that one!), daughters can feel guilty for not spending enough time with their parents.

The list can go on and on!

But there is the guilt that nags at us because we expect so much of ourselves, and then there is the guilt that we feel when we sin… truly sin against God.

But should we feel guilty? After all, we are forgiven, so should our feelings of guilt linger? What does the Bible say about guilt?

First, let’s look at the source of guilt. Guilt comes from sin, when we give into temptation. And temptation often begins with putting ourselves into situations that could be explosive. For instance, if you are married, there is no such thing as “innocent flirtation.” It is the first step in temptation and sin.

Guilt can be compounded by bringing others into the sin we are committing. The effects of sin spread. After Eve sinned by eating the apple, she offered it to Adam and he joined her in sin. Sin spreads.

And sin makes us feel guilty.

But guilt can be good! In fact, it is a gift from God. Guilt is a red light, a warning signal, that we are on the wrong path. When we feel guilt, we can stop, repent, and correct ourselves with God’s help. We feel this guilt when we fail to live up to God’s expectations, but the good news is that God allows us to come to Him and repent.

However, remember this: The absence of guilt in your heart does not mean you are not guilty. Jonah felt no guilt, his actions didn’t phase him initially. We can deny reality, but that will not keep us within God’s standards for living. Romans 2:23 says, “You are so proud of knowing the law, but you dishonor God by breaking it.”

So, how do we get rid of our guilt? Through Christ’s blood! In Romans 3:21-22, Paul gives us the wonderful news: “Now God has shown us a different way of being right in his sight — not by obeying the law but by the way promised in the Scriptures long ago. We are made right in God’s sight when we trust in Jesus Christ to take away our sins. And we all can be saved in this same way, no matter who we are or what we have done.”

Paul goes on to say “Now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1). What great joy there is in that verse! And Christ can relieve us of our guilty conscience. In I John 3:19-20, we are told that “It is by our actions that we know we are living in the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before the Lord, even if our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything.”

For Christians, there will be no fear when we see God face to face the first time. We will be confident, because we have been bought with the blood of His son.

So guilt is an inevitable part of our lives, because sin is inevitable. But, for Christians, forgiveness is just a prayer away!

Pictured above: The Steven Curtis Chapman family.
L-R, Will Franklin, Maria (on Steven’s lap), Steven, Shaoey,
Mary Beth, Stevey Joy, Caleb and Emily)

I can’t explain much in this world. There is so much pain and suffering everywhere. Earthquakes, tornadoes, terrorism, war. It is so easy to see it on television, but then relegate it to the back of the mind and move on. Frankly, that is probably a good thing, because it can be so overwhelming to deal with the horror and tragedy that this world can bring.

But now and then something happens that cuts a little bit close to home. Something that takes your breath away, and leaves you hollow and wondering, “Why, Lord?”

I had that feeling as I read about the tragedy that has occurred to Grammy award-winning Christian singer Steven Curtis Chapman and his family. Chapman’s youngest daughter, Maria (5), was killed in the family’s driveway on Wednesday when she was hit by a car driven by her teenage brother. The teen was driving a Toyota Land Cruiser down the driveway, where several children were playing. He apparently did not see Maria in the driveway.

The accident occurred just south of Nashville, at the Chapman home. Maria was life-flighted to Vanderbilt, where she was pronounced dead.

The Chapman family have six children, including three daughters adopted from China. Maria is the youngest. The family has given so much to so many, and were in the midst of celebrating the engagement of Emily, their oldest daughter, and the upcoming high school graduation of son, Caleb.

This is a double-tragedy for the family. Not only must they deal with the death of their beautiful daughter, but they must find some way to comfort their son. (The family has not released the name of the son involved in the accident).

How their hearts must be breaking tonight! I cannot imagine the pain of that family.

But what I do know is this. The Chapman family loves God. They know Him intimately. He led them to China to adopt, and it is no mistake that Maria is their daughter. She was meant to be their daughter before she drew her first breath on this planet. Before this pain entered their lives, God was already there, preparing to comfort and heal the Earthly pain and hurt. God was not surprised.
His love will see them through the days and weeks to come. And one glorious day, this family will be reunited at the throne of God.

Please pray for this family, and all those in this beautiful, horrible world, that all may receive peace and rest at the throne of God.

Please click on the link below to watch a lovely video of Maria and her dad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tn8ajucsXr8

The church is a fragile thing. Why? Because it is made up of humans, and we are fragile and unpredictable. Our faith may be strong, but can be shaken by the course of events in our lives. And we are susceptible to sin that can tear us apart. No Christian is immune, and no church is immune.

One of the most damaging things a Christian can do is gossip. We know that gossip is a sin:

“You shall not give false testimony.” The 9th Commandment (Exodus 20:16)

“Do not spread false reports. Do not help a wicked man by being a malicious witness.” (Exodus 23:1)

“Through the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, but by the mouth of the wicked it is destroyed. A man who lacks judgement derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue.” Proverbs 11:11-12

First, please understand, there is a difference between gossip and sharing information. Relaying a prayer request that was not told to you in confidence, that is not gossip. If there is a situation that is causing harm to the church, talking with your brothers and sisters in Christ to find a resolution is not just helpful, it is what we should do.
We know it is wrong. We don’t want anyone to gossip about us. We warn our children not to gossip. But we gossip anyway. We repeat that secret that was just too juicy to keep to ourselves. Or we gossip because we want to look “in the know.” Or, frankly, we gossip because we don’t like someone and it is “fun” to rat them out.

Gossip is a pervasive part of society at large… and a church is a microcosm of society and all it’s ills. But gossip has fractured many a church, and let to hurt feelings, broken friendships, injured lives.

What is the definition of gossip? According to Dictionary.com, gossip is “idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others.” If you betray a confidence, that is gossip. If you repeat something that you are not 100% sure is true, or you have not verified from a second source (like a journalist should do), that is gossip.

Proverbs 16:28 says, “A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.” What could be worse than telling a friend something in confidence, and having them relay it to others? And, like much gossip, by the time the story has been repeated over and over again, it bears little resemblance to the original.

We are to be encouragers of others. We are to strengthen one another through prayer and uplifting. To repeat half-truths or confidences is to damage the body of Christ through gossip and innuendo.

We should never allow our spirit to hurt others, whether intentionally or not. The gathering of Christians should be a safe place, a place where anyone can go for understanding and acceptance, as well as Christian conviction. A place where someone may bear her soul and not fear that it will be repeated around town.

So the next time you start to tell that morel of information that may or may not be true, stop and think about the harm it could cause. If you want to repeat something that you have been told in confidence, think whether it could hurt someone. Do you want to be known as someone who is faithful to God’s word? Or as someone who spreads rumors?

Don’t be a gossip girl!