Life as a Christian Woman

Trust & Obey

Words by John H. Sammis, 1887

Music by Daniel B. Towner, 1887

When we walk with the Lord
In the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way;
While we do His good will,
He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.

Trust and obey,
For there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus,
But to trust and obey.

Not a shadow can rise,
Not a cloud in the skies,
But His smile quickly drives it away;
Not a doubt or a fear,
Not a sigh or a tear,
Can abide while we trust and obey.

Not a burden we bear,
Not a sorrow we share,
But our toil He doth richly repay;
Not a grief or a loss,
Not a frown or a cross,
But is blest if we trust and obey.

But we never can prove
The delights of His love,
Until all on the altar we lay;
For the favor He shows,
And the joy He bestows,
Are for them who will trust and obey.

Then in fellowship sweet
We will sit at His feet,
Or we’ll walk by His side in the way;
What He says we will do;
Where He sends. we will go,
Never fear, only trust and obey.

There is no greater feeling than knowing you are following the will of God. Nothing can compete with that, no job, no ballgame, no experience in life. We are called to “Trust and Obey.”

For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. O LORD Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you. Psalm 84:11-12

We are blessed to have a God who recognizes our work on His behalf. And we have a God who will never send us on a task we cannot complete, and will not commission us for a job without first ensuring our success. He does not, however, assure victory. There is a difference between success and victory.

Think of the Olympics that just ended. Was the athlete who finished last any less successful than the athlete who took home the gold? No! While the athlete may not have attained victory, he or she was no less successful in achieving the goal of competing.

The LORD will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven. Deuteronomy 28:7

As the song says, “But we never can prove the delights of His love, until all on the altar we lay.” God’s favor is for those who follow Him, who obey Him, who trust Him. God will never betray your trust in Him. Never. Our God is a faithful God.

Trust and obey, for there is truly no other way.

Beth Moore is a Bible teacher, a writer of Bible studies, and is a married mother of two daughters. Her Bible studies are read worldwide. Recently, this email came to my inbox, and while I normally don’t post emails, this one was special. You may have read it before, but even if you have, it is worth another read.

April 20, 2005, at the airport in Knoxville, Tennessee, waiting to board the plane, I had the Bible on my lap and was very intent upon what I was doing. I’d had a marvelous morning with the Lord. I say this because I want to tell you it is a scary thing to have the Spirit of God really working in you. You could end up doing some things you never would have done otherwise. Life in the Spirit can be dangerous for a thousand reasons not the least of which is your ego.

I tried to keep from staring, but he was such a strange sight. Humped over in a wheelchair, he was skin and bones, dressed in clothes that obviously fit when he was at least twenty pounds heavier. His knees protruded from his trousers, and his shoulders looked like the coat hanger was still in his shirt. His hands looked like tangled masses of veins and bones. The strangest part of him was his hair and nails. Stringy, gray hair hung well over his shoulders and down part of his back. His fingernails were long, clean but strangely out of place on an old man.

I looked down at my Bible as fast as I could, discomfort burning my face. As I tried to imagine what his story might have been, I found myself wondering if I’d just had a Howard Hughes sighting. Then, I remembered that he was dead. So this man in the airport . . . an impersonator maybe? Was a camera on us somewhere?

There I sat; trying to concentrate on the Word to keep from being concerned about a thin slice of humanity served up on a wheelchair only a few seats from me. All the while, my heart was growing more and more overwhelmed with a feeling for him.

Let’s admit it. Curiosity is a heap more comfortable than true concern, and suddenly I was awash with aching emotion for this bizarre-looking old man. I had walked with God long enough to see the handwriting on the wall. I’ve learned that when I begin to feel what God feels, something so contrary to my natural feelings, something dramatic is bound to happen. And it may be embarrassing.

I immediately began to resist because I could feel God working on my spirit and I started arguing with God in my mind. ‘Oh, no, God, please, no.’ I looked up at the ceiling as if I could stare straight through it into heaven and said, ‘don’t make me witness to this man. Not right here and now. Please.. I’ll do anything. Put me on the same plane, but don’t make me get up here and witness to this man in front of this gawking audience. Please, Lord!’

There I sat in the blue vinyl chair begging His Highness, ‘Please don’t make me witness to this man. Not now. I’ll do it on the plane.’ Then I heard it…’I don’t want you to witness to him. I want you to brush his hair.’

The words were so clear, my heart leapt into my throat, and my thoughts spun like a top. Do I witness to the man or brush his hair? No-brainer. I looked straight back up at the ceiling and said, ‘God, as I live and breathe, I want you to know I am ready to witness to this man. I’m on this Lord. I’m your girl! You’ve never seen a woman witness to a man faster in your life. What difference does it make if his hair is a mess if he is not redeemed? I am going to witness to this man’ Again as clearly as I’ve ever heard an audible word, God seemed to write this statement across the wall of my mind.

‘That is not what I said, Beth. I don’t want you to witness to him. I want you to go brush his hair.’

I looked up at God and quipped, I don’t have a hairbrush. It’s in my suitcase on the plane. How am I supposed to brush his hair without a hairbrush?’ God was so insistent that I almost involuntarily began to walk toward him as these thoughts came to me from God’s word: ‘I will thoroughly furnish you unto all good works..’ (2 Timothy 3:17)

I stumbled over to the wheelchair thinking I could use one myself.. Even as I retell this story, my pulse quickens and I feel those same butterflies. I knelt down in front of the man and asked as demurely as possible, ‘Sir, May I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?’

He looked back at me and said, ‘What did you say?’

‘May I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?’

To which he responded in volume ten, ‘Little lady, if you expect me to hear you, you’re going to have to talk louder than that.’

At this point, I took a deep breath and blurted out, ‘SIR, MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF BRUSHING YOUR HAIR?’ At which point every eye in the place darted right at me. I was the only thing in the room looking more peculiar than old Mr. Long Locks. Face crimson and forehead breaking out in a sweat, I watched him look up at me with absolute shock on his face, and say, ‘If you really want to.’

Are you kidding? Of course I didn’t want to. But God didn’t seem interested in my personal preference right about then. He pressed on my heart until I could utter the words, ‘Yes, sir, I would be pleased. But I have one little problem. I don’t have a hairbrush.’

‘I have one in my bag,’ he responded.

I went around to the back of that wheelchair, and I got on my hands and knees and unzipped the stranger’s old carry-on, hardly believing what I was doing. I stood up and started brushing the old man’s hair. It was perfectly clean, but it was tangled and matted. I don’t do many things well, but must admit I’ve had notable experience untangling knotted hair mothering two little girls. Like I’d done with either Amanda or Melissa in such a condition, I began brushing at the very bottom of the strands, remembering to take my time not to pull.

A miraculous thing happened to me as I started brushing that old man’s hair. Everybody else in the room disappeared. There was no one alive for those moments except that old man and me. I brushed and I brushed and I brushed until every tangle was out of that hair. I know this sounds so strange, but I’ve never felt that kind of love for another soul in my entire life. I believe with all my heart, I for that few minutes - felt a portion of the very love of God - that He had overtaken my heart for a little while like someone renting a room and making Himself at home for a short while.

The emotions were so strong and so pure that I knew they had to be God’s. His hair was finally as soft and smooth as an infant’s. I slipped the brush back in the bag and went around the chair to face him. I got back down on my knees, put my hands on his knees and said, ‘Sir, do you know my Jesus?’

He said, ‘Yes, I do’ Well, that figures, I thought. He explained, ‘I’ve known Him since I married my bride. She wouldn’t marry me until I got to know the Savior.’ He said, ‘You see, the problem is, I haven’t seen my bride in months. I’ve had open-heart surgery, and she’s been too ill to come see me. I was sitting here thinking to myself, what a mess I must be for my bride.’

Only God knows how often He allows us to be part of a divine moment when we’re completely unaware of the significance. This, on the other hand, was one of those rare encounters when I knew God had intervened in details only He could have known. It was a God moment, and I’ll never forget it. Our time came to board, and we were not on the same plane. I was deeply ashamed of how I’d acted earlier and would have been so proud to have accompanied him on that aircraft.

I still had a few minutes, and as I gathered my things to board, the airline hostess returned from the corridor, tears streaming down her cheeks. She said, ‘that old man is sitting on the plane, sobbing. Why did you do that? What made you do that?’

I said, ‘Do you know Jesus? He can be the bossiest thing!’ And we got to share.

I learned something about God that day. He knows if you’re exhausted, you’re hungry, you’re serving in the wrong place or it is time to move on but you feel too responsible to budge. He knows if you’re hurting or feeling rejected. He knows if you’re sick or drowning under a wave of temptation. Or He knows if you just need your hair brushed. He sees you as an individual. Tell Him your need!

I got on my own flight, sobs choking my throat, wondering how many opportunities just like that one had I missed along the way. . All because I didn’t want people to think I was strange. God didn’t send me to that old man. He sent that old man to me.

As you go about your day, try to keep your eyes open for opportunities. Pray that God will use you, not in a way you imagine, but in a way only He can see.

A close game between bitter rivals. Suddenly, one of the players goes down injured. As he lays there, the announcers say, “This puts everything into perspective.”

Our perspective on life needs constant tweaking. One minute we are yelling at our team to hit harder, then a player is injured and we get a different “perspective” on the game.

God’s perspective is unlimited and eternal. Ours is temporal and limited by our humanness. While God’s vision is perfect and clear, ours tends to be distorted by our world. When Christ was in the desert facing temptation, Satan tempted him by appealing to his human side, telling him he could achieve greatness without the coming pain of the cross. Later, Peter tells Christ the same thing.

Jesus turned to Peter and said, “Get away from me, Satan! You are a dangerous trap to me. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, and not from God’s”
Matthew 16:23

Peter recognized the Jesus was Messiah, but he forsook God’s perspective and evaluated the situation based on his human-vision.

Satan is always trying to tempt us by taking our focus away from God, to look at life through worldly-eyes. But adjusting our perspective, looking at things as God would have us look at them, helps us stay true to His vision.

Moses begged God to take his mission away. He was a poor speaker, and was afraid he would embarrass God when he spoke to Pharaoh. He pleaded with God to send someone else. But God chose Moses, and spoke through him. If God asks us to do something, He will give us the tools to get the job done. If the job requires skills that we don’t have, He will provide them as needed.

We must put aside our world-view and trust God’s perspective. He will not fail.

Sometimes I just feel so darn inadequate.

Today I was speaking with a dear friend who is going through major upheaval in her life. Her faith remains strong, but her heart aches. For more than an hour I tried to find the right things to say, things that would lift her spirits. Instead I kept saying, “It will get better.”

Duh. Bet that helped a bunch!

When we got off the phone, I just sat there. Why couldn’t I come up with something, ANYTHING, that would help? Why did it seem that, when my friend needed me most, my brain decided to take a leave of absence?

I turned to my Bible. And I found great comfort in my inadequacy there.

One of the greatest leaders in the Bible, Moses, struggled with feelings of inadequacy.

“Now go, for I am sending you to Pharaoh. You will lead my people, the Israelites, out of Egypt.” “But who am I to appear before Pharaoh?” Moses asked God. “How can you expect me to lead the Israelites out of Egypt?” Exodus 3:1-22

Moses felt unprepared to take on the task that God had uniquely chosen for him. He was to speak in front of Pharaoh, yet was a poor speaker. He was to lead a nation out of captivity, yet he was overwhelmed by the task.

But God worked through Moses. He went before Pharaoh, he spoke as the leader he was, and he led the Israelites from slavery to the Promised Land. God worked through Moses inadequacy to rescue His people!

We don’t have to be perfectly prepared for every task. In fact, it goes against our humanness. But God does not ask us to be perfect, He only asks us to obey, to listen, to allow ourselves to be used by Him.

He will use our inadequacies to His strength. He will provide words where we have none, if we will only allow Him to work through us, to His glory.

I don’t know if my mumblings and ramblings helped my friend. But I pray that in my woefully lacking words, God spoke to her. After all, His words are the words of life!

We have all heard the phrase “Judge not, that ye be not judged.” (Matthew 7:1). But what exactly does that mean? Does it mean that at no point do we pass our opinion, our judgement on someone? To break it down even further, if we had a world with no judgment, what would be the purpose of our courts? Can you imagine the Olympics without judges (ok, bad example. That might actually be a good thing!).

The reality of God’s word is that we are to judge within His parameters, by God’s standard of fairness. Some types of judgement are both appropriate and necessary. Matthew 7:1 does not stand alone:

Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. For others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged. Matthew 7:1-2

Jesus’ statement is not a blanket rebuke of judging, but instead against the hypocritical attitude that we use to tear others down and build ourselves up. We are to be discerning in our judgements of others, not negative.

Jesus tells us to examine our motives for judging others. Often the things we like least about ourselves are the things we judge in those around us. We point fingers at others, yet make excuses for our own bad behavior. In fact, we as a society have become great at excuses. Too fat? Blame McDonald’s. Got a speeding ticket? The cop was just trying to make a quota. Didn’t get up for church? God will understand how hard I work.

Judgement is especially appropriate when we face sin. In Corinthians, Paul says:

It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your job to judge those inside the church who are sinning in these ways. I Corinthians 5:12)

Throughout the Bible we are told not to criticize by gossiping or being quick to judge. However, we are charged with dealing with the sin of others that can hurt. We are not to take revenge.

So before passing judgement, examine your motives. Look inside your own heart, at your own failures and weaknesses. Proceed with caution and love.

As I told you yesterday, I am a big fan of the Olympics. Tonight I was watching the men’s gymnastics team event. The underdog U.S. team led midway through the event, and ended up with the bronze medal. The team was not expected to perform well, as they had lost two of their top performers just days before leaving for Beijing.

But perform they did. At one point the team was huddled up. Gymnast Jonathan Horton spoke up and said, “No fear, no regrets.”

That phrase has stuck with me the rest of the evening. What if we could live every single day of our lives with no fear and no regrets.

What would it feel like to be unafraid of what others thought about us and speak freely of the love of Christ? To be unafraid to express our devotion to Him? Even in the free society that we live in here in the United States, we are “afraid” to offend others by speaking of our faith. Somehow it is easier to imagine crossing the seas to spread the Good News than to cross the street and invite our neighbors to worship with us.

And what would it be like to live with no regrets? To look back at yesterday and beyond, and know that we had done all we could to bring others into the Kingdom of God? That we had left no stone unturned in our desire to spread His message of love?

How amazing that would be!

Daily we live with that fear of offending the unsaved, yet by ignoring them we are condemning them to a life eternity apart from God, in Hell. And when someone we know dies apart from God, we regret never having taken the time to speak. When someone passes away, we are so programmed to say, “They are in a better place now.” But are they really? How do we know? Did we ever speak to them about our faith? Share our Jesus with them.

As Christians, let’s make our motto No Fear, No Regrets.

We hear an awful lot about forgiveness, don’t we? We are well-versed in turning the other cheek, the parable that Christ told to demonstrate forgiving our brothers.

But I tell you not to resist an evildoer. On the contrary, whoever slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other to him as well. Matthew 5:39

But there is another side to the business of forgiveness… the art of asking for forgiveness.

Recently I became aware of a situation where someone repeated something that wasn’t true, without checking it out first, despite the fact that there was a professional relationship between those concerned. It was put in writing and passed around. Serious damage was done to many people, and reputations were on the line. When the gossiper (and that is what he was) found out that his unchecked facts were wrong, he basically said, “Oops” and let it end there. He has not apologized to the many people that he wronged. It would be an act of contrition, one that is desperately needed. There are hurt feelings, damaged hearts, wounded relationships. When repeatedly approached about his need to go to those he wronged, he has claimed that he has already “moved on.” But those he hurt are left wondering “why?”

Admitting that you have done something wrong is hard. Admitting it to the person that you have wronged is even harder. Asking their forgiveness is darn near impossible! After all, it involves humbling yourself to someone. Humbling ourselves to God is easy, expected, understood. Doing it before a fellow servant of God is much, much harder. And yet, we are called to do just that. If we don’t we are out of favor with God, outside the parameters of His teachings.

We are vain individuals. We don’t like to embarrass ourselves, or look weak. And somehow in our world, admitting that you are wrong has become a symbol of weakness.

A few weeks ago I wrote about confronting someone Biblically, according to Matthew 18 (Life as a Christian Woman, May 30). Earlier in Matthew, we are told that that if we are in a quarrel with someone, if our brother or sister has something against us, we must go to them immediately and seek reconciliation.

We hear a lot about tolerance in today’s world. We are expected to practice tolerance, even if it goes against our beliefs or could be harmful to us.

But what exactly is tolerance?

According to Dictionary.com, tolerance is defined as the following:

a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc., differ from one’s own; freedom from bigotry.

When we break it down, there is one word that we, as Christians, must have a problem with… Permissive. We can be fair and objective within the confines of our beliefs. We can be respectful rather than combative. But we cannot stand by and abide actions that diminish our ability to serve our God.

When we tolerate sin, we undermine our faith. In the Old Testament, Israel was charged by God to be intolerant of any religion that did not honor and worship our one true God. Israel was surrounded by nations that were evil and worshiped idols. But Israel’s leaders defied God and became tolerant of the evil-doers, and eventually ended up incorporating pagan beliefs into their own worship. The upshot is that we, as followers of the One True God, must be completely and totally intolerant of sin. We cannot condone beliefs or practices that remove us from God and His directives for our lives. We should be tolerant of others who hold different beliefs, but we cannot allow that tolerance to diminish our worship.

When we tolerate sinful behavior, we hurt both ourselves and those who are around us. Jesus spoke of this in Matthew:

So if your eye–even if it is your good eye–causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your hand–even if it is your stronger hand–causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
Matthew 5:29-30

Obviously, Christ was speaking figuratively. But his words ring strong, that we must remove sin from our lives. Can we be perfect? No, but we must strive for the perfection of God every day. It is easy to tolerate sin in and around us, but when we do that, the sin will eventually destroy us. But it is better to suffer the pain of removing the sin, than to risk judgment. We must regularly search our lives for anything that leads us into sin, and then take action to remove it.

However, there are times when it is better to be tolerant than repressive. In Acts we read:

My advice is, leave these men alone [speaking of the apostles]. If they are teaching and doing these things merely on their own, it will soon be overthrown. But if it is of God, you will not be able to stop them. You may even find yourselves fighting against God.
Acts 5:38-39

These words were spoken by Gamaliel, a noted scholar of the Law of Moses. He was a teacher of Saul of Tarsus (later Paul), who “learned at his feet.” It was Gamaliel who discouraged the Sanhedrin from putting Peter and the other apostles to death. He believed if Jesus was the messiah, they would be fighting against God. If Jesus wasn’t, then the movement would die out, as others had before (Theudas, Judas of Galilee).

Sometimes we must wait to see what God is trying to say to us. Unless these individuals or groups are endorsing dangerous doctrines (such as child abuse, slavery, or other illegal activities), the better path may be to step back and listen for the voice of God.

But always be on guard. Don’t allow tolerance of others to become tolerance of sin in your life.

Time for the Williams family to hit the road for one last trip before school starts. Today we head to visit my friend, Stefanie.

I met her Stef when she was a 17 year old high school senior trying out for the college cheerleading squad that I coached. But over the four years that she cheered for me, we clicked. Our relationship moved from coach/cheerleader to friendship.

After she graduated, Stefanie became my assistant coach. When I opened my own business, she was the first person I hired (I use the term loosely, since very little pay was involved). When I met Doug and moved from the area, she was the one person I missed the most.

We have been through some rough patches, but our friendship never faltered. Email became a lifeline for us. She was the person I knew I could rant and rave, or sob and cry to, and she would get it.

When we were both newlyweds and living about five hours apart, we would meet once a year to go to a Tennessee football game. Then kids came along. When my daughter was just a couple of months old, we loaded up and headed south so Emilee could meet her “Aunt” Stefanie. You see, my mother died while I was pregnant, and Stef and her family “adopted” me. Her mom (who is only three years older than I am!) sends my daughter cards and signs them “Grandma Doris.

Now Stef has two girls, and this trip will be a chance for them to get together and build what we hope will be a friendship that will grow over the years.

If you were to see the two of us walking down the street, you might not think we would be candidates for a strong friendship. You see, I am (ouch) 50 and Stef is 33. I’m white, she is African-American. But our friendship is priceless.

You see, friends are a special gift from God. Friendships are set apart from family, a fact that is acknowledged in scripture:

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” Proverbs 17:17

Friendships must be maintained and nurtured, or they wither and die. Jesus valued his friends, he needed to lean on them just as we must at times lean on our friends. He also knew how to be a friend. He held his friends accountable, he laughed with them, he worried about them. I guess you could say that, in addition to everything else he did, Jesus set the standard for friendship, too.

“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you”
John 15:13-15

I once heard a saying: There are three types of friends, 1) Friends for a season, 2) Friends for reason, and 3) Friends for a lifetime.

I am blessed with so many great friends (and you all know who you are!). Some have come into my life for a short time, others for longer periods. Some came, left, and came back again. But very few friends are with you for years. Life changes, we move on.

When I first met Stefanie, I had no idea that God was placing her in my life to help me through times I would never dream of. But He knew. In fact, long before either of us was born, He knew that our friendship would defy the odds and last for nearly two decades (and still going strong!).

I guess I am a little more sentimental than usual because I am watching my own daughter at the early stages of building friendships… she is learning how she must treat people, and how she wants to be treated. It is all trial and error. And every night when I say a prayer for her, I pray that God surrounds her with Godly friends who will be with her through the storms and parties that life brings.

And somewhere along the way, I hope she has a friend like Stefanie.

Bet that title grabbed your eye! But isn’t that the way we all feel? If our families would just listen to us, do what we say/recommend/order, then life would be so much easier!

At work, if the bigwigs would take two minutes to talk to us, we could tell them how to fix the business in half the work hours… at double the pay.

Even though we know we are flawed, we humans are egocentric. I continue to be convinced that if I could sit down with all the world leaders, I could have them drinking tea and eating cookies together within minutes.

We always assume that if someone disagrees with us, they just don’t get it.

On a more basic, Christian level, I cringe when I hear someone say that they believe something to be true, when I believe just the opposite. You want to get a loud discussion going? Bring up tithing! Seldom will you ever put two Christians in the same room and have them agree about that topic!

I have friends that drive me mad. They will make bold statements about what they believe God means in some portion of the Bible. I will hold the opposite opinion and, after explaining my point of view, if they don’t agree I just naturally assume that they are insane!

Boy, don’t I have a lofty opinion of myself…

But as I have grown older and wiser (I hope), I have begun to figure out one thing. Disagreement is healthy. As long as we don’t let the discussions devolve into divisiveness, boisterous disagreements can actually help you define your beliefs and grow in faith. After all, if you can’t defend your point, how do you know that you are correct? Because no one has it all right. Scholars have been going over the Bible for centuries and still disagree about certain meanings and parables.

My dad used to drive me crazy. If I said I liked something, he would take the opposite side and argue. If I switched and agreed with him, he would switch and start arguing again. Years later, I figured out he helped me develop my ability to defend my point, while still being open to the opposing viewpoint. I’m not always good at it. In fact, there are days I am pretty awful. But I’m working on it.

The upshot is, don’t let arguments over theology divide you from your brothers and sisters in Christ. Have respectful disagreements. Agree to disagree, as they say. But at the end of the day remember: We all have the same Father, and one day He will sit us down and explain it all to us.

We are bombarded with images of perceived beauty daily, virtually by the minute. “Use this cream and your skin will look younger,” the ads scream at us. “That man will love you more if you use this haircolor,” the ads insinuate. We get the message that whatever we are born with is not good enough. We need to look like the movie star of the day, buy the right clothes, fit the right size mold, and then our lives will be fulfilled.

Ouch!

These messages are aimed at our kids, too. So now, it isn’t just enough that adult women feel the pressure to fit society’s mold of beauty, but our five year olds are trying to fit the mold, too.

I recently picked up a book called, The Lolita Effect: The Media Sexualization of Young GIrls and What We Can Do About It, by M. Gigi Durham, Ph.D., (Overlook, 2008). I am just at the start, but the premise is obvious. Girls are inundated from an early age to sexualize themselves. Teeny bikinis. Booty-shaking dancing. It’s all there.

What we all need to remember… study, learn, repeat to ourselves, whatever it takes, are the old adages that our moms used to tell us: Beauty comes from within. Beauty is as beauty does.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve spent a small fortune attempting to attain that elusive “beauty.” (OK, maybe not so small of a fortune!). Physical beauty is wonderful, but it can’t be our goal. In I Peter, we read:

Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.
I Peter 3:1-7

Real beauty, inner beauty, can change the world. It sheds light where there is darkness. It brings joy in the midst of sadness. And it effects everyone around. Peter goes on to instruct Christian wives to develop their inner beauty, as their husbands will be won by their loving spirit, rather than their looks. If we live our lives developing our inner beauty, our families and friends will see Christ in us.

When we focus on the outward appearance, we become self-centered and can become vain.

For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do.
I Timothy 2:10

It does not go against scripture for a woman to want to look pretty. But inner beauty must be the goal. I’ve often used the Christmas present analogy. If you have two presents that are side-by-side, one wrapped in the shiniest paper and the other in plain brown, most people will quickly open the beautifully wrapped gift. But if what is inside is ugly, or the wrong size, the gift will be meaningless. If the plain package is opened to reveal something beautiful, it will be treasured for years to come. The outside is meaningless in the long run, it’s the inside that is the treasure!

And to reference an earlier blog, having the heart of a servant will increase your beauty ten-fold (The Heart of a Servant). Nothing shines brighter to our Heavenly Father as one who humbly serves…

Talk about true beauty!

When my husband and I were first dating, I was telling him a story about the time some friends of mine gave me a gift certificate to bungee jump. Before I could get to the part about how I chickened out, his eyes got big and he said, “You bungee jumped? That is so cool!” Suddenly, it seemed easier to let this guy that I liked be impressed by something that I had never done than tell him the truth. No harm in it, right?

A few weeks later I was telling him about the summer I had the opportunity to go to the Soviet Union. Once again, before I finished the story that my dad wouldn’t let me go, he was so impressed I decided to let him think I had gone. What could it hurt?

Jump ahead a few years. We are married now. We are on a ski trip, my first time to try it. We take the lift to the top of the Bunny Hill (which looked like Mt. Everest to me). I sit down at the top, take off my skis, and beg hubby to let me walk down the mountain. I’m terrified! He is amazed, and says, “I can’t believe you are afraid, after all, you’ve bungee jumped!”

Through my tears, I say “I’ve never bungee jumped… and I’ve never been to Russia, either!

Several important lessons were learned that day… first, my husband learned to wait until I am completely done with a story before jumping to conclusions. And I learned that sooner or later a lie will catch up with you… And I also learned that my husband can be very forgiving!

Honesty breeds trust. When a lie is exposed, there is a separation that occurs, a wall of mistrust that is built. If one spouse can’t trust the other, or if a child can’t trust a parent, the family will break down. When leaders lie to their people, society breaks down. Honesty should be the cornerstone on which our lives are built.

One of the harder truths to understand is that it is better to be honest and be rejected than to lie and find acceptance. We should be honest and straightforward with those around us. As Christians, we must live as far above reproach as possible. Half-truths and omissions accomplish nothing in the end, except to separate us from God and damage our witness to others.

Additionally, trying to live a lie that you have built is impossible. You must constantly guard against the truth slipping out, and to keep one lie up you inevitably have to tell a few more. It is a vicious circle that eventually collapses like a house of cards.

My husband and I laugh about the “Bungee jumping in Russia” story now. But what if this lie had somehow put doubt into his heart about my honesty? It could have destroyed our marriage, crushed our family.

Honesty isn’t just the best policy, it’s the only policy that a Christian can afford.

Don’t you just love God and His sense of humor and timing? Just when you get comfortable in a place, He comes along and pulls the rug out from under you, saying “Nope, this was just a temporary thing. Time for bigger and better ways to go.”

It happens to all of us. We have our little corner of the church world. Whether we are in choir, or mission work, leadership or a Sunday-only worshipper, we get our little comfort zone in the pew and relax. Then it happens.

Maybe it is a sermon that gets under your skin a little… or a lot. Or maybe it is an overwhelming feeling that just won’t go away. But you realize that you have to respond or you will be miserable doing something that used to make you happy.

But the point of service is not to do what we feel comfortable with. When you have a gift that God has given you, there are many ways to use it. For instance, if you sing, you can be in the choir. You may grow comfortable there. But perhaps God would be better served if you took that talent and used it differently. Perhaps you should get a group together and sing at nursing homes. Or become involved in children’s or youth choirs. But you shouldn’t just sit in your comfort zone and say, “Look at me, I’m using my talent!”

I guess what I am trying to say is, using your talent, your gift, is wonderful. But take it to the next level. Use your gift to it’s maximum potential. Raise the stakes. Move out of your comfort zone and into God’s will.

In fact, when you get comfortable, that’s the time to up the ante. Go for it. You can’t go wrong when you are serving God!

I had to have a little outpatient surgery today. Nothing major, but it would lay me up for a day.

As a wife and mother, I panicked. Not because I worried about who would take care of my family; I worried about what my house would look like with me out of commission! But a funny thing happened… my family stepped up to the plate. My husband finished the laundry and put all the clothes away. Sure, later in the day I had to go back and put them all in the right place, but somehow that wasn’t so bad. His heart was in the right place.

And my five year old made dinner for me… a bowl of Cheerios (no milk). I started to get up for something to drink, and she said, “No, Mommy. I’m your servant tonight.” So there I sat, eating dry Cheerios and drinking water from a sippy cup… and loving every minute of it.

And it got me to thinking. In the secular world, the word “servant” has a negative connotation to it. Somehow, we feel it is demeaning to serve others. We are above that, we should be served. But as Christians, serving can be the highest form of honoring God. In fact, when we serve others, we are directly serving God!

In I Samuel, we learn that Samuel was Eli’s helper. But it is noted that by serving Eli, he is serving a higher power:

Elkanah and Hannah returned home to Ramah without Samuel. And the boy became the Lord’s helper, for he assisted Eli the priest.
I Samuel 2:11

When we, as Christians, serve others, we turn the secular world upside down. While the world screams to be served, we know that our duty is to serve those around us. In Matthew, Jesus teaches the disciples a valuable lesson, that to be good, effective leaders, they must first learn how to serve.

Jesus called them together and said, “You know that in this world kings are tyrants, and officials lord it over the people beneath them. But among you it should be quite different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant.
Matthew 20:25-26

So be honored to serve, to have the “Heart of a Servant.” For in that service, you are serving God!

Summer is a busy time in churches. Yes, it’s time for that old standard, Vacation Bible School! This week I am working with a group of our four year olds, and it has been fun and exhausting all at once!

I have to admit, working with a group of four year olds for the week is not my idea of vacation anything! All of us who are working are exhausted, and as we pass each other in the hallway, we say, “only two more days,” as if to cheer each other up. But the funny thing is, we are all smiling. Not fake, phony, “I’ll smile because I am supposed to” smiles, but real ones. Why? Because we know, deep in our hearts, that we are making a difference. We know we are needed, and we know it is the right thing to do.

I remember VBS from my childhood days, and the impact it had on me. I always looked forward to VBS, because I would be with all my friends doing all the things I liked to do: playing, making crafts, singing songs, eating snacks and watching movies. Oh yes, and we had a little Bible thrown in, too.

Actually, we had a lot of Bible thrown in, I just didnt’ realize it. I was too busy making crafts to realize that they were God-centered. I was too busy singing songs to notice that they were about Jesus. I was too busy watching movies to realize that they were about the lives of some of the heroes of the Bible.

But a funny thing happened while I wasn’t realizing what was going on… I was learning! It was soaking in, even though I’m sure the teachers thought I was oblivious. I was learning about God, the Bible, all of it.

And I was learning about God’s love, too. How? Because wonderful women of the church taught VBS. Some were retired, others were moms of some of the kids. But they loved on us and taught us like we were their own. And in that love, we were feeling the love of God.

A wonderful thing happened a few years back. After my mom passed away, one of my former Sunday School and VBS teachers got in touch with me to give me her condolences. I hadn’t heard from Miss Dottie in probably 35 years! We began corresponding by email on a regular basis. She had been one of the moms who loved on me, loved on all of us, and made a difference in our lives.

Now, all these years later, I can remember how that love, the love of the women of my church, brought me to God, led me to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

I want the children of my church to grow up knowing God’s love. I want them to learn about Jesus and the Bible heroes. And someday, I hope they grow up and teach VBS, too. You see, Miss Dottie, and all those like her, don’t just influence the students in front of them. They influence the generations to come. It doesn’t start and end during this one week. It is a seed that will grow, and spread more seeds over the years.

So this week I am getting up earlier than I would like to, I’m more tired than I can imagine, and I am loving every minute of it.

And I’m pretty sure Miss Dottie would be proud!