Life as a Christian Woman

Today is my 11th wedding anniversary. I thank God everyday for my loving husband, my son and step-son, and my home. But boy that seems like a long time! Especially considering the statistics that at least half of all marriages end in divorce.

Did you know there is no discernible difference in those statistics for Christian marriages versus non-Christian? I do have to tell you this is my second marriage, though. I married the first time young, at 19, and it lasted two years. I still exchange e-mails with my ex every couple of months. It was not a nasty divorce, simply a “we are too young to be doing this” type of thing.

My second husband and I met at work and married a year later. We haven’t been without our problems. I was not a Christian when we first married. If I hadn’t accepted Christ sometime in our second year, I’m not sure we would still be together. The second and fifth years were the worst. But we made it over the hump. We have passed the 7-year itch (uneventfully) and are now entering the phase my mother, who has been married to my father for 43 years, likes to call “it would take too long to divide the sock drawer.”

Accepting Christ into my heart definitely made a big impact in my married life. When I didn’t feel I was loving or being loved the way I should, I had Christ to show me the right way. I had God to answer my prayers to open my heart and make me feel like I did on our wedding day. He can do that if you ask. You can look at your husband one minute filled with frustration, and the next you remember what it felt like to take his hand on that special day and know that nothing in the world could come between you. You remember how Christ loves us and how he put that love before everything, sacrificing himself for us. Suddenly, you remember what it all means; marriage is a give and take and if you remember to always place love first, everything else will work itself out.

My husband and I very rarely argue. The times that we have, though, the stubborn streak in both of us rears its ugly head. Then I remember the word of God that a wife should submit to her husband. On those times when I would rather keep arguing until the crack of dawn simply for the sake of arguing, I can lay down my stubbornness and say, “Okay. I love you.” Sometimes in marriage, or any relationship, you have to agree to disagree. At those time, I submit to my husband because Christ said I should. It feels good to be able to just back off and accept his direction. A part of me may still disagree, but I keep my mouth shut and remember to love him. Soon the angry words and thoughts just melt away and I am left with a peace that all is as it should be in the world. Amazing that God can do that, huh?

Marriage is hard work. You have to wake up every morning and make a conscious decision that you love your spouse that day. At those times when you would rather throw a pie in his face, you have to beg God to change your heart, QUICK. You have to trust your spouse that he would never do anything to deliberately hurt you. Even in a heated battle of words or loud silences, you have to remember that he loves you and his words at the moment do not change that. You have to remember to submit to his decision when a disagreement can’t be resolved (as long as his decision does not go against God). You must look to Christ for examples on how to love. Christ loves us even when we don’t want to be loved by him. And he meets us wherever we are when we make the slightest gesture of accepting Him. You have to meet your spouse wherever he is, too. If he asks in a seemingly still angry voice, “Do you want to watch a movie?”, you must put aside your affront at his tone and say, “Sure, that sounds nice.”

When you remember to ask God’s help and look to Christ, suddenly you are celebrating your 11th anniversary and thinking how wonderful those years have been. Besides, I tend to agree with my mother. At this point, a divorce would take too long to divide the sock drawer.

christian women, christianity, marriage, relationships, submission, love